How To Use a Vibrator for Men

Many men have no idea they can use a vibrator for their own pleasure. But vibrators aren’t made for one gender, body type, orientation, or political affiliation. They’re for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure. As far as gender binary stereotypes go, men are offered a narrow set of sexual options. Vibrators are one way to bust out of those confines and discover a new world of pleasure potential.

 

Explode the Myth

Research on who uses vibrators tells us that almost half of all men have tried a vibrator at least once. But since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people; they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.

Research Before You Buy

Some vibrators are designed for men's bodies, but most can be used by people of all genders. Online can be a great place to do some research (here are some tips on finding a good sex shop). Do some comparison shopping, email a few questions to the sex shop websites that appeal to you the most and see what you get back.

Don't always look for the best price, as discount retailers rarely offer the same high-quality products or customer service as the independent sex shops.

Don't Look Away

Many of us have sex with our eyes closed, or at least we close our eyes at the moments of the most intense pleasure. There's nothing wrong with this, but when you are first trying a vibrator out it can reduce the benefits.

Guys aren't always so specific about their pleasure spots. You may know that you love the feeling of stimulation around the head of the penis, or the scrotum or shaft. But are you aware of the specific spots? Have you noticed how in one area strong squeezing is what turns you on, and in another it's a lighter touch that drives you wild? Vibrators can give you a tool to do this kind of exploration, and if you do it with the lights on, or at least with focused attention, you might learn a thing or two about your sexual response that you didn't know before.

Try It Without the Motor First

You might be 100% familiar with your genitals (or at least think you are), but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator.

From General to Specific

We are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving them an orgasm.

In fact, there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. Once you turn your vibrator on, start by touching the parts of your body farthest from your genitals. Use the vibrator on your feet, feel what it's like on your fingers and hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Most guys will use a vibrator around the penis, scrotum, butt, and nipples, but a vibrator never gets tired (although the motor can burn out) so don’t be in a hurry to get there. Once you get a feel of vibration all over your body you can slowly move to the more sensitive parts.

The Sensitive Parts

Move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples. The more sensitive the area you're moving to, the slower you should set the vibrator speed.

You can use a vibrator to stroke up and down the shaft of the penis or to gently roll around the head and frenulum. If you aren't sure where to use a vibrator, read up on the anatomy of the penis and treat it like a checklist.

Different Speeds for Different Parts

Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particularly around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.

Use Pressure to Vary the Feel

It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally, something that some men love. Some guys find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator. Don't expect the vibrator to do all the work for you. Try applying different kinds of pressure as you hold the vibrator to find what works for you.

External vs. Internal Vibration

Hard plastic and electric or rechargeable vibrators are best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water-based lubricant for any penetration play.

External Anal Stimulation

The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds favorably to stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out.

See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your bum, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling, many men find this highly pleasurable.

Anal Penetration With a Vibrator

Anal penetration requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant. Start slowly and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.

Take Your Time

When you are with a partner there's always some part of your attention that is focused on them. This makes sense, but performance anxiety and general discomfort about trying new things can really get in the way of you enjoying yourself and noticing some of the great things that sex with a vibrator has to offer. So even if you have a partner who is ready and willing, take your vibrator for a few solo spins before using it with a partner.

Prostate Massagers

Some vibrators are better suited for prostate massage than others. Vibrators that aren’t too big and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.

Be Patient

Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You might be surprised by the results.

Check the Batteries

If you purchased a vibrator that takes batteries, remember to take the batteries out of the vibrator each time you're finished using it. If batteries are left in, the vibrator might turn on accidentally and stay at a low speed, which will burn out the motor and could make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also, if you leave batteries in your toy and forget it, they can corrode and destroy the vibrator.

Anal Vibrator Safety

Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner, never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use a water-based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.