How To Use a Vibrator

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Most vibrators don't come with instruction manuals. A lot of people think that's fine;  isn't sex supposed to be obvious?  But if you’ve never used one, how exactly are you supposed to know? And a sex toy isn't exactly like a flashlight (even if they can look the same, some of the time).  It's not just about turning it on.  It's about turning yourself (or your partner) on.

If you’re looking for a few helpful hints here is a beginner’s guide, written for most women's bodies, on how to use a vibrator.

If you're looking for tips for most men's bodies, check it out here.   

  1. Get to know your vibrator.
    Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works. If it needs to be charged before first use do that. If it takes batteries, figure out what kind. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case or charging mechanism. Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws, return your vibrator before you use it.

  2. Start on your own.
    Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it out by yourself first. You’ll probably feel less self-conscious, which in turn allows you to focus on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).
  1. Play with the lights on.
    Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and primed for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover. 
  1. Turn it off before you turn it on.
    Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body before turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
  2. Move from the outside in.
    Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, and your scalp. You can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. 
  3. Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
    Vibrators never get tired (although they can burn out, so watch for overheating), and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women report that one side -- or even one portion -- of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight (note: some vibrators come with flashlights!). 
  1. Play with speed.
    Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up. If a vibrator feels too strong at first you can put a towel between you and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your body. You may find that in some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others stronger is better. 
  2. Play with pressure.
    You may enjoy deep pressure with clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator just slightly above the body so it is barely touching.  With most battery-powered vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator, the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down and find what works for you.
  1. On point or flat out.
    If your vibrator has a point or an edge try touching yourself with the finest point of the vibrator. Next put the widest or flattest part of your vibrator against your body. When you focus on one point, the vibrations can feel more intense than when the vibration is being dispersed ​around a wider area. 
  2. What's safe for penetration?
    Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration there’s no reason not to try it. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. 
  3. Going deeper.
    Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and stimulate the g-spot. It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly) may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation.

Tips

  1. Safety tip: vaginal or anal penetration.
    If you want to insert a vibrator anally, only use vibrators designed for anal penetration. The toy should be smooth and seamless and should have a flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way in. It's incredibly important to be safe about anal sex toy play.
  2. Take your batteries out.
    Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time you're finished using it. If you leave the batteries in, the vibrator may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case, destroying your vibrator.