6 Tips for Using a Strap-On Dildo

Lesbian couple kissing in bed
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The body parts Mother Nature naturally granted us ladies can sometimes limit our girl-on-girl fun. Enter...the strap-on dildo—a handy little sex toy that brings spiciness into the bedroom and adds playful fun to committed lesbian relationships. Maybe you're thinking: Convert my body to be more like a man's—do I even want to go there? But using a strap-on doesn't have to be all about that. If you or your girlfriend crave a little extra penetration, give the strap-on dildo a whirl.

Here are some tips to get you started:

Select the Right Dildo

When selecting the correct dildo for you and your partner's needs, size matters. Venture into your fridge to get an idea of what might work for you. Pull out a few carrots, cucumbers, or zucchinis and measure their width and length with a tape measure. (But please don't use them!) If you're trying to hit the "feel-good spot," start with a dildo that's 1 inch in diameter, but for a feeling of fullness, go with a 1.5-inch piece. And don't forget the harness!

Get Used to Your New Toy

Strap on your harness and dildo to get used to how it feels, before jumping into bed with your partner.  The tighter it is, the more control you will have and the more sensation you will feel. However, too tight of a harness can cut off circulation and turn a pleasurable experience into a painful endeavor.

Don't Forget the Foreplay

Nobody likes a bedmate that comes in too hot.

(Well, okay, maybe some of us do.) Make the moment special for your lover before going in with gusto. Kiss her. Touch her. Have her help you strap on the harness to get you both in the mood. Remember, the excitement of foreplay creates a perfectly lubed environment for penetration. 

Don't Skip the Lube

And speaking of lube—make sure there's plenty of it.

Using a strap-on that is properly lubed reduces friction and gives a slippery feel to your newfound toy. Opt for a natural lube over a petroleum-based product to avoid an allergic reaction. No lube on hand in the heat of the moment? Try a condom instead, for ample slip and enjoyment. 

Take it Slow and Communicate

Go slow and easy when using a strap-on, asking your partner for feedback on angles and depth. As with any sex, talking about what you like, what you don't like, what you want, and what feels good is very important. So, listen and pay attention to her body language. Ask her if it feels good. Does she want it deeper, faster, or slower?

Angle your dildo upwards, not back towards her spine. Let your girlfriend guide you in and give you cues to how fast, slow, deep, or rough she likes it. And try different positions. Old-fashioned missionary-style allows for face-to-face intimacy, while doggy-style lends further penetration. 

Mix it Up

Experiment with oral sex. Watching your lover go down on your dildo can be a big turn-on for many. And if you want to experiment with anal penetration, go slow, use lots of lube, and remember to change condoms any time you change orifices or people.