How to Tell If a Woman Is Interested in You

Laughing friends having drinks in garden at sunset
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Although there are no sure-fire ways to tell if a woman is interested in you, there are some signs that may reveal the truth. It may be difficult to determine if a woman is just being polite or actually has the hots for you. Bisexual and lesbian women may especially go out of their way to point out their sexuality if they like you. For instance, she may bring up what it's like to be LGBTQ+ and what it was like to first come out.

This is just one sign of her hinting that she likes you.

Signs That a Woman Likes You

One of the most common things a woman who likes you will do is try to make direct eye contact. When you glance her way, see if you catch her looking back at you. These are all signs that she may be intrigued. However, it may not be in a romantic way. Pay attention to the context to see if these are clues that the lesbian at the bar is into you or it's just an employee at work gazing in your direction.

Additionally, notice if she's making any physical moves. If she makes it a point to be with you, she might be trying to get closer. It can happen in many situations:

  • Noticing a woman always sitting next to you in staff meetings at work
  • Seeing a friend constantly take the seat right next to or across from you
  • Consistently coming up to you in person to ask a question or start a conversation
  • Finding ways to lightly touch you, like on the knee

    Similarly, if a woman is making a consistent effort to engage with you, she might be trying to let you know she fancies you. For instance, she may always come by your cubicle at work to check in on a project, when it can easily be talked about through email. Perhaps this lady always shows up at your softball games, at the club where you bartend, or outside of your classroom.

    These are all signs she could be into you. Then again, it could just be another co-worker, boss, or classmate. Pay attention to the details in these situations and go with your gut.

    Signals That Show She's Into You

    One of thing a woman might do when she likes you is constantly laugh at your jokes. If she does so (especially if you believe they're not very funny) it's possible that she is interested in you. If she's more forward and finds ways to physically touch you, it could be another sign. Examples of physical touch include touching your hand when asking to see your ring, sitting close to you on the couch, and giving your shoulder a squeeze when you pass by her.

    Of course, if you find that she's constantly complimenting you, she's probably flirting with you. Flirting includes compliments like saying you have pretty eyes or a nice smile. If she says nice things about material items like your shirt or shoes, it's possible that she's just being friendly. Consider if she's acting a certain way toward only you, or if she is generally a touchy and flirty person.

    Additional signs that she might like you:

    • She constantly talks about her queer experience, what your experience was like, what it's like to come out, and otherwise brings up the topic of gender frequently.
    • Observing that she's very socially or physically awkward when she's around you. She might be nervous or shy.
    • Remembering the tiny things you say. If she brings up little details that you've told her in the past, this could be a sign that she's going out of her way to really get to know you.
    • Initiating physical touch, especially in more intimate areas. This includes affectionate and romantic gestures, like helping you put on your necklace, fixing your hair, and trying to hold or cuddle you.

    Listen to Your Instinct

    It's hard to know if someone likes you as a friend or something more. If she's constantly joking around with you, she could have a great sense of humor or uses her jokes as an icebreaker. If she likes you, she'll probably take some action by teasing, joking, and/or flirting with you.

    Ultimately, you need to go with your intuition.

    Often, the energy between two people is palpable. Feel for it, but understand that you can never be sure if it's one-sided. Of course, the only real way to find out if she likes you is to ask her. If you get intimate, however, things are definitely looking up.

    Be Cautious

    Implement good boundaries. If you're wondering if a co-worker is interested, you can ask her to hang out outside of work. Don't hit on her while in the office, as this is highly inappropriate and uncomfortable for other parties.

    Whatever you choose to do, use caution. While many signs may add up to her liking you, take it slow and get to know her better. Otherwise, it's possible that you'll do something rash or foolish. Finally, you may decide to ask her if she's gay or bisexual. She may not even know yet herself, but if you come out to her first, she may have a suggestive response.