How to Tell if a Woman is Interested in You

Laughing friends having drinks in garden at sunset
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Although there are no sure-fire ways to tell, here are some way to guess if a woman is interested in you, especially for bisexual and lesbian women.

Here's How

  1. She Tries to Make Eye Contact 
    Does she go out of her way to try and catch your eye? Do you catch her looking at you when you glance her way? These are signs that she's intrigued, but it may or may not have anything to do with a romantic interest. Pay attention to the context. These clues are a lot more telling at a lesbian bar then in the workplace.
  1. She Makes a Point of Sitting Near You 
    At work, she sits next to you in staff meetings. In a group of friends, she'll take the seat right next to you or right across from you.
  2. She Goes Out of Her Way to Engage with You 
    Does she always come by your cubicle at work to check in about a project that could easily be talked about via email? Does she show up at your softball games, at the club where you bartend or hang around outside your classroom when her next class is far away? These are all signs she could be into you. Then again, it could be your co-worker, boss or classmate.
  3. She laughs at your jokes 
    Especially if they're not funny.
  4. She touches you 
    Does she touch your hand when she asks to see your ring? Are there moments when touching is not called for, but she does anyway, like sitting close on a couch or giving your shoulder a squeeze when you pass by her.
  5. She compliments you 
    If she says you have pretty eyes or a nice smile, she's probably flirting with you. If she compliments your shirt, hair or shoes, she could just like them.
  1. She jokes around with you 
    Humor is a great ice breaker. If she likes you, she may tease you, joke with you or flirt with you.
  2. Your intuition is telling you so 
    Don't discount the power of your intuition. Often the energy between two people is palpable. Feel for it, but you can never be sure if one-sided.
  1. She tells you 
    This is the only sure-fire way to find out if someone is into you. Either that or she tries to kiss you.


  1. Warning:  ​If she is your personal trainer or therapist, these things are part of her job (Well, obviously not the kissing...) She is NOT interested in you!
  2. Pay attention 
    Is she acting this way just toward you, or is she a touchy, flirty person in general.
  3. Have good boundaries 
    If this is a co-worker and you're interested in finding out more, invite her to hang out outside of work. Hitting on someone at work is highly inappropriate and may get you fired.
  4. Use Caution 
    All of these things may add up to her liking you, but don't do anything stupid or rash. Take it slow and get to know her before you make a fool of yourself.
  5. Find out if she is gay or bi 
    She may not know yet if she is lesbian or bi, but you can start by coming out to her and seeing how she responds. Here are some suggestions of ways to bring up the topic.