How to Stop Hemorrhoids from Interfering with Anal Sex

Man lying on bed with back pain
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Recently, we received this email from a reader: "I am in a new relationship and have developed a small external hemorrhoid. I've tried everything to heal it, including a doctor's recommendations, but it still causes pain, especially during sex. My boyfriend and I haven't had anal sex in a week and he is getting antsy. I was wondering if you have any advice regarding future intercourse, now that I have a history of hemorrhoids. And, will this continue to interfere with my current relationship or affect future ones?"

First off, hemorrhoids and anal sex are no joke. And while sex doesn't necessarily cause them, the penetration, friction, and pressure can agitate already angry veins in and around the rectum. It's best to wait until after your hemorrhoid heals before you have sex again with your boyfriend. If you jump in too soon, it will only exacerbate the situation. Right now, explore other options for pleasuring your partner. And as your healing progresses (remember, it takes time and diligence) ease back in with simple techniques that quell the pain of the inflammation.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Hemorrhoids are inflamed veins that may or may not cause irritating symptoms. When something rubs up against them, like a finger or a penis, the already sensitive vein can become more inflamed or tear, causing pain. Stress is one of the major culprits of inflated rectal veins and inflammation, in general. Plus, our back door is biologically purposed to push things out, not take them in, causing a lot of stress in this region when bottoming. The key is to trick your bum into thinking your partner is a friend and not a foe. Relaxation is the best method for this.

So how do you relax?

Longer foreplay helps loosen up tense muscles and eases tension you may not even be aware of. Prolong your arousal time so that you can relax the muscles, including those in your rectum. A sensual massage or long, warm baths together are also great relaxation techniques. And, soaking your bum in an Epsom salt bath will help your hemorrhoid shrink to a more comfortable size.

Don't Forget the Lube

Lubrication is your friend because unlike the vagina, the anal canal doesn't produce its own. Never let your man spit and stick, instead always use an ample amount of lubrication. Here's a tip: Many guys think lubricating the penis is enough. While it can be, lubricating the rectum, as well—especially in your condition—will make anal sex much smoother. Take your finger full of lubricant and massage it inside your rectum, especially around your hemorrhoid.

Try Different Angles

The rectum houses a few different veins that can become inflamed during anal sex. Depending on your anatomy, you may find comfort in different positions. You know your body best, so start on top and position yourself where it is most comfortable for you. Take your partner's anatomy into account, too. Does his penis curve up, down, or to the side? Adjust so that it's comfortable.

Stop if There's Pain

Let your partner know if you're in pain so he can pull out slowly. There's no glory in inflaming yourself even further just to fulfill his needs. Maybe your hemorrhoid needs more time to heal. Don't push it. There are many other ways to be intimate without having anal sex. If he's a loving partner, he will be patient with your recovery. And if he's not, maybe it's time to move on.