How To Steal a Gay Kiss

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Touch First, Kiss Later

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


The first thing to keep in mind is--no lunging. Your movement into the first kiss should be a natural extension of a light, playful attitude towards touching that you have established from the start of the conversation, not some predatory lurch that comes out of the blue. So prepare the moment well in advance by getting him comfortable with being touched by you. We’re not talking about gross sexual groping, but instead a series of small gestures that lets him know you’re interested and not afraid of tactile contact. Examine his jewelry, feel the fabric of his shirt, flick some imaginary lint off his collar, grasp his forearm to make a point, lean in close to hear what he’s saying. Your friend should feel relaxed with your touch long before you’re ready to kiss him.

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Observe the Mood

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


No mutual interest, no kiss. So in your conversation, work on creating a fun atmosphere of shared attraction. Joke around. Flirt. Tease. Watch for indications of interest: you touch him, he touches you back; his eyes catch yours; he responds to your jokes and games with ones of his own; he doesn’t shy from sex talk or introduces his own double entendres. Ready to make your move?

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Transition to a Kiss Zone

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


Talking and flirting can be done in a bar or club but kissing is far more intimate and demands privacy. Only newly-minted lovers kiss in public. So don’t put your new friend on the spot and try to kiss him when there are people around. Instead, be smooth and move your date to a "kiss zone" – a semi-private spot away from prying eyes where you can be alone together, but not a blatant sex location like your bedroom or hotel room. Made-to-order kiss zones might be: a dark corner, a quiet hallway, a bench or patio outside the club. To help overcome any discomfort your friend might be feeling, provide a plausible reason for the move: "Let’s sit over there where we can talk," "God it’s hot in here, let’s go outside," or (if he’s with his buddies) "Can I borrow your friend for a minute? I want to ask him something."

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Let the Tension Build

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


Once in the kiss zone, continue developing attraction as before, but don’t be in a hurry. Instead, let the tension build. Take your friend’s hand and throw it away. Move close, then move back. Compliment, then tease. Try the "triangular gaze": look your friend in the eyes, then look down at his lips, then back to his eyes. This bit of body language signals that you’re strongly attracted and ready at any moment to kiss. Time to close the deal.

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Kiss Close #1—His Lips

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


The touching, the flirting, the quiet location--perhaps you’ve been playing a game with your lover, but your lover has been playing too. He knows what’s coming and, what’s more, wants it to come, though he may be shy. Help him along. After a triangular gaze, murmur something nice about his lips and brush the back of your fingers across them. If he accepts your gesture, he’s ready to be kissed. Draw him to you and kiss him lightly.

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Kiss Close #2—His Hair

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


A variation of the above: "You have beautiful hair." Reach over and rake your fingers gently through his hair, draw close and smell it, or even take a little taste. If he accepts and enjoys this intimate gesture, he’ll be receptive to your lips. Gaze into his eyes, pull him to you and kiss.

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Kiss Close #3—Just Ask

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


The famous pick-up artist Mystery has a third method a bit more playful and verbal. Once in the kiss zone, simply give your friend a significant glance and ask, "Do you want to kiss me?" If the answer is yes, you know what to do. If the answer is no, remain indifferent and say, "Oh. I didn’t say you could but you looked like you had something on your mind." If the answer indicates any uncertainty ("Maybe," "I’m not sure"), say provocatively "Let’s find out," take him in your arms and go for it.

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Further Thoughts

© Mauro Alejandro Strione


Don’t be too aggressive with your first kiss. Given all the build up, a gentle brush of the lips should be enough to ignite your lover’s passion. Go with the flow. Sit, wait, let things happen. The tension has been broken. You’re moving into new territory. Enjoy the moment.