How To Meet Someone When You're HIV Positive

HIV Positive Dating

Gay couple on rainbow blanket
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Dating is a fun business but as in any other subject you must be cautious about many things. The most important rule is to protect yourself in every way, not just physically but emotionally as well. We are used to think that some details like being HIV positive can make a big difference in dating, but that is not so true. There are a lot of discussions we can have about emotions, especially if you are HIV positive and you are looking for a serious relationship.

Let's talk about it 

A reader sent us his question about how to date with HIV.

Q: A year ago I tested positive for HIV. Just about everyone I meet with HIV uses it as an excuse to sleep around. Do you have any advice on how I can meet others with HIV that might actually want a serious relationship or am I just kidding myself?

A: Try not to think of your status as the cause of your perils. Dating, poz or not, isn't easy. Men are crazy creatures sometimes. You will find that dating with HIv is the same as without it. Some overcommit or don't commit at all. The key is finding someone in between.

Online Dating

Immediately, I wonder where you're looking for love. Sounds like you need a change of scenery. Unfortunately most of the dating websites and apps tend to set HIv aside, but try a search for "hiv positive dating" and a ton of sites pop up dedicated to dating poz. Two sites that stand out are PozPersonals for their plethora of poz-affirmative resources and its negative-inclusive environment and HIVpassions because it's more of a social network than a traditional dating site–and it's free!



Serodiscordant Dating

Also, keep your options open. Your status doesn't define who you are and it's not the Scarlet letter you think it is. Not all neg guys are opposed to dating someone positive. Nowadays there is a bigger understanding of HIV and the fear of it is less paranoid than it used to be.

Dating Offline

You don't have to wear your status like a stamp on your forehead.

Show off who you are as a person and let someone get to know you beyond your status. Get out there and be unwavering about what you're looking for. And when I say "out there," I mean start engaging in activities that interest you. You never know who you may run into in your art class, at a support group, during that theater workshop, while volunteering, or on your gaming forum...

Dating–poz or not is hit or miss, but you increase your chances by being proactive and persistent. Don't just wait for someone to find you and go find someone as well.  

Think about it: your personality hasn't changed, you are still the same person. Other people will notice that in you. HIV does not define you as a person, always remember that. Have great dates!