How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Friends

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When you’ve been put in the friend zone by someone you like, it can feel as though you’ll never be able to turn your friendly and buddy-like connection into a romantic relationship. However, many thriving, long-lasting, and meaningful relationships arise out of a strong friendship. And if you’ve been placed in the friend zone, these five key steps can help transform your current connection from friendship into courtship.

1. Decide If It’s Worth It

Before you try to change your connection with someone and transition from just a friend into a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s imperative to decide if it’s something you truly want to pursue. When you want to make this kind of major transformation into more than friends, you risk losing the type of connection that you now share with this person. And if this is a very good friend and close confidant and companion, it may significantly change the dynamic and rapport that you have with one another going forward. However, if you truly have feelings for this person and know in your heart that you want to try to take things to the next level, then the reward is definitely worth the risk.

2. Start Flirting

If you want to be seen as more than simply a friend, it’s time to pull out your best flirting techniques. This may seem awkward or strange at first since you’re used to being just friends, but finding little ways to turn up the flirting can help to spark something in his or her mind.

If you want to be seen in a new light, you should start changing your banter from friendly to flirty. For example, if you subtly compliment him or her, hold eye contact a little bit longer than usual, or find new ways to make this person laugh and giggle, these understated flirting strategies can help to create something more between the two of you and stir up new feelings.

You shouldn’t be over-the-top or overly aggressive—just be your best self with a flirtier edge.

3. Don’t Be So Available

Do you immediately answer his or her text, always try to hang out, and change your plans at the drop of a hat in order to see this person? If you want to get out of the friend zone, you should stop being so available for him or her. If you add a little mystery, are more vague with your plans, and don’t try to spend every moment together, this person will start to feel a void and wonder what you’re up to when you’re not around. When you decide to play hard to get, this can be a great way to get out of the friend zone since you’re suddenly more mysterious and no longer at his or her beck and call. Since people often want what they can’t have, your sudden lack of availability can help put you in a different category in this person’s mind since you’re now harder to track down and more elusive. He or she may long for the days when you were around, and as a result, start to think of you in a more romantic way.

4. Get Some Alone Time

The next step toward getting out of the friend zone is to find opportunities to hang out one-on-one. If you don’t want to be seen as a friend, then it’s time to expand the ways in which you spend time together.

For example, rather than only seeing each other with your friend group present and with tons of other people around, it’s in your best interest to find ways to hang out in a smaller group or when it’s just the two of you. When you want to get out of the friend zone, you should seek out opportunities to hang out when it’s not already labeled and considered to be a friend-focused activity.

5. Tell This Person How You Feel

While it may seem scary or intimidating at first, you can choose to bite the bullet and let him or her know how you feel. Being open and honest can help you receive a definitive answer about his or her feelings for you at this point. You may catch him or her off guard at first, but you don’t really know how the conversation will go until you have it. And if this person is in the same place you are and feels the same way, then you can say goodbye to the friend zone and hello to this next phase of your relationship.

However, if this person doesn’t feel the same way about you, then you can get the closure you need to move on for good and find someone else who wants to be “more than friends” with you.