How to Get Your Partner to Propose

couple on steps
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When you know in your heart that you’re ready to marry the person of your dreams, it can feel like an eternity as you wait for them to propose. You may find yourself growing frustrated and disenchanted as perfect opportunities for them to ask you seem to pass by unnoticed, such as dinner at a fancy restaurant or while you’re vacationing together in a beautiful setting. But before you give up hope that your partner is ever going to ask, it’s important to know the five actions you can take to get him or her to propose to you.

1. Turn Down the Pressure

Are you constantly reminding them (or even nagging them) about how much you want to get married? Do you hint of how much you want to be a bride or groom at every possible moment? If you’re always bringing it up and putting pressure on them to propose, they're actually going to feel less inclined to do so because they are under stress and duress that you’re causing. While there may be perfect moments for you to bring it up and discuss your future together, tying it into every conversation is only going to make them feel annoyed and argumentative. However, if you choose to lower the pressure cooker and go with the flow, they’ll likely be more inclined to propose because it’s something he or she wants to do and not something he or she feels pressured or obligated to do.

2. Hang Out With Your Married Friends

Spending time with your peers who are married can be a great way for him or her to see the benefits of marriage without having to hear it directly from you.

By choosing to go out with your friends who are married, you’re showing them that others have taken this step and that he or she is not the first one to take a leap and make this kind of major commitment. Plus, if you engage in couple-centric activities with your married friends such as hosting a game night, going on a couple’s retreat, or even spending the day at an amusement park, he or she will actually see and experience the benefits of having you as their (potentially life-long) partner without having to be specifically told by you.

3. Be Realistic

When you’re ready to get married, it’s important to recognize that your love may not be on the same page as you are. Getting married is something you both have to truly want to do, and if he or she has expressed fears to you about the concept of marriage, isn’t in the best place financially or career-wise, or has been married before, he or she may have a completely different time frame and view as to when to get married. Make sure that you listen to your guy or gal with an open heart and an open mind when he or she expresses fears and hang-ups, and be honest with them and with yourself to see if you can find common ground. If you’re hoping to get married now and they see marriage as something that could happen in the next five years, there’s going to be trouble ahead. In a happy and healthy relationship, it’s important to discuss the future openly, honestly, and without judgment. In order to avoid being brokenhearted, make sure that your expectations are realistic and respectful of your partner and his or her needs and desires.

4. Be Indispensable

If you’re able to show your partner how important and vital you are in his or her life, this can help to inspire them to pop the question.

When you’re supportive, caring, and are the best partner that you can be, they'll better understand why they should propose and keep from losing you. While you shouldn’t behave in a fake or forced way, you should make a concerted effort to be your best self so that he or she can see even more clearly how amazing you are and how truly lucky he or she is to have met you. Be sure to show them gratitude, perform random acts of kindness, and keep your love on their toes so that they’ll be even more motivated to get down on one knee.

5. Forget the Ultimatums

While giving your partner an ultimatum about when to get married may seem like the surefire way to incentivize them to put a ring on it, this is actually a very risky approach to say the least. Not only can you end up hurt and heartbroken, you should never coerce or force someone into deciding to marry you.

While it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with them about your desired timeline and that you’re not going to sit around and wait forever, giving them the “now or never” choice is likely going to backfire. Instead of helping them see that they should propose sooner rather than later so as not to lose you, this tactic can have the opposite effect and they may decide to end things. In their mind they may feel that they dodged a bullet by not proposing to someone who is so demanding, manipulative, and close-minded. Before you throw away your entire relationship because of a risky ultimatum, you ultimately need to sit down with your partner and have a real conversation about your future together and what it holds for the two of you.