How to Get Him to Propose

Engaged couple.

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When you know in your heart that you’re ready to marry the man of your dreams, it can feel like an eternity as you wait for him to propose. You may find yourself growing frustrated and disenchanted as perfect opportunities for him to ask you seem to pass by unnoticed, such as dinner at a fancy restaurant or while you’re vacationing together in a beautiful setting. But before you give up hope that he’s ever going to ask, it’s important to know the five actions you can take to get him to propose to you.

1. Turn Down the Pressure

Are you constantly reminding him (or even nagging him) about how much you want to get married? Do you hint of how much you want to be a bride at every possible moment? If you’re always bringing it up and putting pressure on him to propose, he’s actually going to feel less inclined to do so because he’s under stress and duress that you’re causing. While there may be perfect moments for you to bring it up and discuss your future together, tying it in to every conversation is only going to make him feel annoyed and argumentative. However, if you choose to lower the pressure cooker and go with the flow, he’ll likely be more inclined to propose because it’s something he wants to do and not something he feels pressured or obligated to do.

2. Hang Out With Your Married Friends

Spending time with your peers who are married can be a great way for him to see the benefits of marriage without having to hear it directly from you.

By choosing to go out with your friends who are married, you’re showing him that others have taken this step and that he’s not the first one to take a leap and make this kind of major commitment. Plus, if you engage in couple-centric activities with your married friends, such as hosting a game night, going on a couple’s retreat, or even spending the day at an amusement park, he’ll actually see and experience the benefits of having you as his partner (and potentially life-long partner) without having to be specifically told by you.

3. Be Realistic

When you’re ready to get married, it’s important to recognize that your man may not be on the same page as you are. Getting married is something you both have to truly want to do, and if he’s expressed fears to you about the concept of marriage, isn’t in the best place financially or career-wise, or has been married before, he may have a completely different time frame and view as to when to get married. Make sure that you listen to your guy with an open heart and an open mind when he expresses his fears and hang-ups, and you should be honest with him and with yourself to see if you can find common ground. If you’re hoping to get married now and he sees marriage as something that could happen in the next five years, there’s going to be trouble ahead. In a happy and healthy relationship, it’s important to discuss the future openly, honestly, and without judgment. In order to avoid being brokenhearted, make sure that your expectations are realistic and respectful of your guy and his needs and desires.

4. Be Indispensable

If you’re able to show your man how important and vital you are in his life, this can help to inspire him to pop the question. When you’re supportive, caring, and are the best partner to him that you can be, he’ll better understand why he should propose and keep from losing you.

While you shouldn’t behave in a fake or forced way, you should make a concerted effort to be your best self so that he can see even more clearly how amazing you are and how truly lucky he is to have met you. Be sure to show him gratitude, perform random acts of kindness, and keep your man on his toes, so that he’ll be even more motivated to get down on one knee.

5. Forget the Ultimatums

While giving your guy an ultimatum about when to get married may seem like the surefire way to incentivize him to put a ring on it, this is actually a very risky approach to say the least. Not only can you end up hurt and heartbroken, you should never coerce or force someone into deciding to marry you. While it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your guy about your desired timeline and that you’re not going to sit around and wait forever, giving him the “now or never” choice is likely going to backfire.

Instead of helping him see that he should propose sooner rather than later so as not to lose you, this tactic can have the opposite effect, and he may decide to end things. In his mind, he may feel he dodged a bullet by not proposing to someone who is so demanding, manipulative, and close-minded. Before you throw away your entire relationship because of a risky ultimatum, you ultimately need to sit down with your man and have a real conversation about your future together and what it holds for the two of you.