How to Find Your G-Spot

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The debate over the g-spot is never-ending. Does it exist? Is it important? Are you missing out on the best sex of your life if you don't touch it? 

There are definitive answers to only a few of these questions, and it seems like every six months "new" research (in quotes because sometimes it's new and sometimes it's just upcycled) contradicts old research, and also promises to be the final word on g-spot science.

While the experts debate, why not do your own research, and get to the heart of the matter? It's your body. Research may tell you something about what others experience, no one can know exactly what it feels like to be you.

Whether you call it a spot or not, the area of your body that some people call the g-spot is no magic button. It's like any other part of your body, some people like when it's stimulated others don't.

Some people love having their earlobes licked and for others, it's a major turn off. If you're curious and ready to explore on your own, here's a roadmap. Stimulating the g-spot on your own requires some manual dexterity and flexibility. The instructions below guide you through doing it on your own, but of course, you can always have someone lend a hand.

Avoid Performance Pressure About the "Magic Spot"

If you become fixated on achieving a sexual goal (like multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm) you can create significant performance anxiety even if you're alone. This is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of sexual encounter. Remember that sexual exploration is mostly about the journey, not the destination. Try not to make this another notch in your sexually self-actualized belt.

Turn Yourself On

Any homework that starts with this is bound to be somewhat fruitful. The spongy area around the g-spot gets engorged with blood when you're sexually aroused, so it is much easier to find and feel when you're turned on.

Get Comfortable and Find the G-Spot Area

Lie on your back, squat, or lie on your stomach. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger into your vagina (use lubricant if you're feeling a little dry), crooking it forward in a "come hither" motion. When you're up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of your vagina.

Notice How the G-Spot Feels

The texture of the g-spot area will likely be noticeably different from the typically smooth walls of the vagina. When you're aroused it can expand, so feel it at different times during your arousal to get familiar with its contours and sensitivity. The g-spot responds to pressure, so press down and pull forward using that "come hither" motion with your fingers.

Explore the G-Spot with Toys

It can be awkward to stimulate the g-spot by hand. A g-spot vibrator or dildo can be a great helper in this. Apply a little lube to your toy, and insert it with the tip (if it's curved) pointing up toward the top wall of your vagina. Work it in slowly, far enough (a couple of inches) so the tip is pressing against your g-spot.

Experiment with Pressure and Motion

Some people find pressure against the g-spot pleasurable, others like the feeling vibration when a toy is pressing against the g-spot. Experiment and see if either feels good for you. For most people, the g-spot responds to firm pressure. In the beginning, use your toy as if you were trying to scratch an itch - don't pull the toy all the way out, but use short strokes, applying firm pressure, against the g-spot.

Vary the Movements

A circular or back-and-forth motion may be necessary to get you started, but you might soon graduate to a more vigorous thrusting. If you've got a vibrator, try playing with the vibrations both on and off to see which you like better.

Add Clitoral Stimulation to G-Spot Play

You'll know you're hitting the spot as you feel tingly sensations, the urge to pee, and an overall elevation in your arousal. When you feel the urge to come, add in clitoral stimulation using your favorite method. Keep stroking your g-spot.

Let Go

With continued stimulation, you'll eventually feel a sensation much like having to pee. This can be quite disconcerting at first and has probably led plenty to abandon the process, but if you stick with it you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. You may or may not ejaculate, but ejaculation is perfectly normal (and it's not urine).

If You Don't Orgasm, Try Try Again 

It can take several practice sessions before you notice any build up. Try varying your position, using a different toy, experimenting with breathing and kegel exercises (to strengthen your PC muscle), or having a partner help you. Because the g-spot is most responsive when aroused, you may also want to try stimulating it after you've had an orgasm.

Remember the Ear Lobe

Experimenting with the g-spot can be fun, and you never know what you'll learn in the process. But try not to get hung up on this being a mind-blowing experience. If you're playing around and it's not doing anything for you, try something else, and know that there is nothing wrong with you, and what turns us all on is incredibly individual and unique.