How to Find a Best Friend

Developing a Close Friendship

Best Friends
Best friend acting silly. Digital Vision/Getty Images

Finding a true blue best friend takes time and usually happens from circumstance. Friendships take time to develop, and you may meet someone you click with right away, or it might take years. But there are a few things you can do to increase your odds of gaining a best friend.

Understand Your Desire for a Best Friend

Before you can connect with the right friend for you, you'll need to determine what it is you expect from a best friend. Do you want them to be emotionally supportive? Available to do things with you at a moment's notice?

Figuring out what you're looking for in a close friendship will help you spot those qualities once you see them in another person.

Get a Variety of Friends First

You might think that the way to get one special friend in your life is to focus on a particular friendship first. But the best way is to get a variety of friends in your life. You'll meet different people and do a wider range of activities, and this may change who you think your best friend should be.

With a bigger social circle, you'll also have more people around for different moments in your life. So you'll put less pressure on a new friendship because you'll have plenty of others around when you want to chat, hang out, etc.

Be Cautious of Declaring Someone a Best Friend Too Early

You can't make someone your best friend just by telling them that's what you want. In fact, saying this to a new friend might just make them back away from the friendship. All friendships need time to progress in their own time, so if you try and "hurry" one along you might just end up derailing the relationship instead.

Be patient and look for common ground between you and a friend. If you and someone else are meant to be best friends, you'll know it and won't feel the need to ask them if they think you two are BFFs.

Be a Great Friend

It should go without saying that in order to have a best friend, you need to be one first. There is a balance in being readily available to emotionally support someone and being a doormat, however. Make sure you get to know your new friend so you don't fall in the habit of always being the one who gives to a friendship while the other person takes you for granted.

In short, don't let your desire for a best friend make you needy. If you're clingy you'll put undue pressure on any new friend that enters your life, and instead of a developing your friendship you'll be pushing them away.