How to Boost Your Confidence

Happy woman.

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Having self-confidence is vital in many different aspects of your life, and this is especially true if you’re in the dating world. However, having confidence in yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. While you may know others who seem to ooze confidence, charisma, and self-esteem, it’s important to recognize that nearly everyone has to work on overcoming doubts and personal fears. And if you’re someone who is struggling with self-esteem and self-doubt, these five key tips can help to boost your confidence and therefore increase your chances of meeting someone special.

1. Focus on the Positive

It’s not uncommon for people to focus on the negative aspects of their lives rather than the positive. For example, instead of being thankful for their family, friends, and health, people tend to place their focus on what they consider to be their faults and flaws, such as their frizzy hair, their small apartment, or the fact that they’re not currently in a relationship. However, if you want to boost your confidence, it’s time to shift your attention to the positive and be grateful for the things you do have. When you’re able to change your mindset and recognize all of the good that’s already present in your life, this can alter your demeanor and behavior for the better. Rather than being a Negative Nancy and seeing the glass as half empty, a new half-full approach to life can help to inspire others to want to approach you. When you believe in yourself, others will take notice and feed off of your energy and positivity.

2. Take a Break From Social Media

While being active on social media can be helpful in terms of networking and catching up with long-lost friends, it can actually chip away at your self-esteem. You may see photos of people you know on exotic vacations, pictures of their wedding, and even the expensive meals they eat, which can end up leaving you feeling jealous, ashamed, and sorry for yourself that you’re not partaking in these exciting activities.

But by taking a break from social media or cutting yourself off cold turkey, you can focus on yourself and work to improve your own life rather than being bombarded with posts and images that are hurting your self-esteem. Since social media is typically a highlight reel of other people’s lives, why not put your attention on yourself instead of sitting and focusing on the lives of others?

3. Follow Your Passions

Since building self-esteem is directly related to improving the relationship you have with yourself, it’s imperative that you pursue the activities and endeavors that make you happy. For instance, if you love to sing, then signing up for a karaoke league, taking voice lessons, or joining a band can help boost your confidence since you’re engaging in activities you enjoy and are giving yourself the opportunity to thrive, learn, and grow as a person. When you make your passions a priority, you’re making yourself a priority by believing that you’re worth it. Giving yourself the chance to do what you love can help you recognize just how awesome and special you truly are.  

4. Push Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone

You’ve likely heard the expression, “Fake it til you make it,” and this is quite true when it comes to building self-esteem.

When you put yourself out of your comfort zone little by little, you’re empowering yourself with the tools to do things you may find challenging or intimidating. For instance, if you’re afraid of asking someone out, why not start by simply striking up a conversation with someone without the added pressure of asking him or her on a date? When you get the hang of talking to others and can see firsthand that you can do it, you can then take the leap of asking someone out. Building confidence requires practice, and when you take baby steps toward facing your fears, you’re taking leaps and bounds when it comes to improving your self-esteem. 

5. Practice Self-Care

Are you too hard on yourself? For many people who struggle with confidence issues, they’re often their own worst critic. For instance, if you’re the only single one left in your group of friends, you may start to think that something’s wrong with you, that you’re never going to meet someone, and that you’re destined to be alone forever.

However, none of these things are true, but your inner-critic keeps reinforcing them and replaying them over and over in your mind. And if you go out on dates with this kind of negative attitude, you’ll likely turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Improving your self-esteem means you have to turn your inner-critic into a caretaker. If you know you're being hard on yourself, you should shift your attention to doing something beneficial instead, whether it’s booking a spa day, volunteering, or reorganizing your apartment. When you stop the inner-critic and replace this detrimental behavior with something positive, your confidence will improve as a result.