How Gay Teens Can Share Their Feelings With a Crush

Saying "I Like You" Can Be Scary, Hard, and Rewarding

Two girls making heart shape with their armas and hands in sunset, summer.
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Have you ever had a crush? A lot of GLBT teens have. Sometimes teens find themselves crushing in private and don't share their feelings with another living soul.

Other times they realize that they really want to be able to tell their crush how they feel.

GLBT Teen Experiences Telling a Crush Their Feelings

Everyone is going to feel differently after telling a crush how they feel.

One GLBT teenager realized that not having a crush returned doesn't mean her feelings will go away.

She writes:

"When I was 13 I had my first girl crush on my friend [K] who is bi. I told her I liked her. She said she would give me a chance but I knew she didn't really have feelings for me, but I still liked her regardless."

Another teen realized that despite the fact that his friend isn't interested when he shares his crush, his reaction intensifies his feelings. He says:

"My old crush was gorgeously hot. And he was my best friend. Of course he was straight, but when I told him I liked him he was cool with it, which made me like him even more!!!! I also hated it because he was a tease; he always sorta flirted with me and stuff, which I hated, but liked so much.

A third teen is thrilled simply by getting to share his feelings with the boy he likes.

"I told him! I swear it was, well, exciting!! You can't imagine how I felt sitting next to him and expecting nothing but the worst. Finally, I said, “You remember the crush I told you about? Well…… I was talking about you.” He looked amused. Not disgusted or shocked as I expected, but amused. He took it really casually. So casually I said, “Hey, I just told you that I LOVE you. I’m serious.” He still looked amused and then he told me that such things are normal. Anyway, I told him at first I thought I loved him so much I thought I was gay. Then I realized I still love girls and therefore I was bi and was actually having a fight with myself between being bi and gay. He just burst out laughing! But a good, sweet, lovable laugh. He wasn’t making fun of me or anything. He just sounded happy."

Risks and Benefits of Telling Your Crush How You Feel

We all know that one of the main the benefits of telling a crush you are crazy about them is that they will feel the same and the next thing you know you have an awesome new boyfriend or girlfriend. But even if your crush doesn't feel the same as you do, expressing your feelings might feel good.

At the very least, it will lift that weight off your chest. Nothing feels quite as good as being honest with yourself and about yourself.

Of course, there are also serious risks to sharing such personal feelings. One is that it could out you as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans. Another risk is that your crush could react negatively and say or do something hurtful. Additionally, after sharing your feelings you might feel shy or embarrassed, or too exposed.

How to Tell a Crush You Like Them

Once you have made the decision to express yourself, you still need to find the right words to make your feelings clear. Here are some options:

  • Just come out and say it. "Sally, I like you."
  • Get a friend to tell your crush and wait for them to report back to you. This may sound very "high school," but it works and it's a good way to protect yourself.
  • Send a text or IM or go old fashioned and write a real letter.

Whatever method you choose, remember to be clear. Nothing is more confusing than thinking that someone is saying they like you one way and they really like you another way.