How Do I Get Him to Ask ME to the Dance?

Camila's question, answered.

Cohen/Ostrow / Photodisc / Getty Images
I recently received this email from Camila:

Hi Cassandra,

I'm Camila and I like this guy and I want him to ask me out to the 8th grade prom but the thing is... HOW DO I GET HIM TO ASK ME?! Im pretty shy and nervous and I really REALLY like him!! I dont know what to do! Please Help, Cassandra!!

Hey Camila!

Thanks so much for writing me. When is your prom? If it's a couple months away, you still have some time to get to know him and to drop subtle hints that you want to go to the dance with him.

But if it happens to be in a week or two, I'd say that you might want to speed things up a bit by asking him to the dance yourself.

But, if it's a couple months away, your mission is to get to know him better and become friends with him. And then hopefully, that will lead to him asking you to the dance. You said that you're really shy- and that's okay! I was really shy around guys in 8th grade, too. So here's what you can do:

Do one small thing each day that will help you get to know him better.

Some ideas: compliment his shirt, ask him about what band he's listening to on his iPod, ask him if he's seen a movie that's out, ask him if he understood the homework, ask him how his weekend was and what he did, ask him what he's doing THIS weekend, etc. These are all really easy conversation starters that will prompt him to start talking with you. Use one each day, remember to smile, and keep the convo light, easy, and most importantly: positive!
Avoid really serious or depressing subjects when you're first getting to know someone. You can save those convos for when you know each other better.

Also, if there's an opportunity to work with him on a school project, take it! Ask if he wants to be in your group or to be your partner. Then you guys will automatically have the project to talk about, and you'll be spending time together.

One thing I always do when I'm trying to win people over (and this goes for anyone, anywhere)... I butter them up with treats! If you're into baking cookies or cupcakes or there's a certain kind of candy that you love, try bringing some to school and giving them out to your girl and guy friends... and your crush... at lunch. Your friends will think you're awesome, and your crush will be like, Hey... that girl's cool... she gave me a treat. Just make sure you don't single him out and ONLY give them to him... that might come on a little too strong. Just make it seem like you're giving out sweets and you had an extra one so you decided to give it to him... just because!

Now, it's best to approach him when he's by himself and not around all of his friends. That way he's not distracted, and it'll be easier to talk to him without everyone watching and listening. So try to catch him on the bus, in between classes or any other time he's flying solo.

Keep in mind... unless he's really outgoing, guys in eighth grade can be really shy around girls and not that great at holding conversations. So, don't be discouraged if he's not that talkative at first. He might just need some chances to get used to you, and to get to know you better. If your first convo goes something like, "Hey cool shirt!" "Thanks" "Okay...bye." Don't get discouraged! Just keep trying to get to know him and eventually you'll have longer convos. If there's ever an awkward silence, either end the convo or just ask him a question to keep it going longer.

If all goes well, you guys will become buddies and discover things that you have in common. And that could lead to him liking you and asking you to the dance! If you need more flirt tips, check these out. And if you want to know for sure if he likes you back after you get to know him, check out this: Seven Signs Your Crush Likes You Back.

Let me know how it goes! GOOD LUCK!