How to Make a Straight Guy Like You Back

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One of the hardest things for gay teens is having a crush on someone straight. Most people know that you can't "turn" someone gay, but some teens who are gay hope to make a straight crush like them back one day. When you're in this situation as a GLBT teen, it's understandable that you would ask what you can do with your straight crush. Whether you're writing, venting, or simply sharing your experience, it's typical to want to grab your crush's attention or otherwise "turn" them gay.

How to Make a Straight Guy Like You

Although it can be hard to accept, most straight guys just aren't going to be interested in a gay relationship. The fact is, people can't "turn" other people gay or bisexual, just like they can't turn them straight. Most professionals agree that sexual orientation is far too complicated to be changed. While we don't know exactly what determines someone's sexual orientation (or gender identity), we do know that neither can be attributed to any singular or easily changeable factor.

The first thing you can do it check to see if you're becoming "obsessed." That can mean making sure you have some space from the guy you like and focusing on other things. There are other teens who have been there themselves and offer their advice:

"OK, so you like the guy but he's straight. Sorry to break your heart, but he's not likely to change his mind. I once spent four years chasing after a really sweet friend of mine who knew I was gay, but was completely oblivious to my feelings for him. Eventually, he got a girlfriend and I knew I had to let go.

How?

Step 1: Find a hobby you can do without him. Video games, exercise (morning runs are nice), learn to cook, buy a cheap guitar, etc.
Step 2: Expand your social circle so that he isn't the center of your world. The best way is to join social groups in your school or community. Sports, art, theater, music, hobby clubs, volunteering, etc. You may have to work a bit to find them, but it's worth it.
Step 3: Be patient. The downside of being gay is that we have fewer partners to choose from. Realize that it may take time to find a guy who can love you back."

Of course, sometimes people who you are crushing on return your feelings—which is great. But if that doesn't seem to be happening, it's true that distracting yourself by keeping busy can help get your mind back on track. However, if the feelings really don't get any easier to handle, you might want to consider talking to someone you trust about what you're going through.

You Are Not Alone

There are many gay teens experiencing unrequited love in the form of a straight, or even gay, crush. For example, there was one teen who expressed interest in a boy at his school named Mitchell. Mitchell is two years older than him, and he's starting to fall in love with him. He finds Mitchell to be cute, and because they hang out frequently and watch movies together, his desire for Mitchell to like him back grows.

It's a tough situation to be in. There's no real way to make someone like you romantically if that isn't how they feel. However, a good first step is to try to find out if your crush is gay or straight. Many teens don't actually know the answer to that question themselves (since figuring out your sexual orientation can be a long process), and others are very private about sharing this type of personal information. So even if you bluntly asked him, it's important to be aware that you might not get the truth.

However, if it turns out that he is gay, then you could let him know how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same way. He may or he may not return your feelings, but asking him (or having a friend ask him) is truly the only way to find out.

If it turns out that he is straight, things might feel a little different.

Of course, you could still tell him how you feel. However, you should be prepared for a few different reactions if you do. In this scenario, it's possible that he'll be flattered, interested, or even looking to experiment. On the other hand, he could also be freaked out and uncomfortable. Because we live in a world with varying degrees of homophobia, some straight guys feel threatened when gay guys are interested in them. Be prepared and courageous, and you will do well.