How Can I Get Over My Straight Crush?

Teenage boy listening to music on a mobile phone
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Question: How Can I Get Over My Straight Crush?

Have you ever had a crush on someone straight? If so you sure aren't alone. Almost 900 teens have shared their experiences about having a crush on someone straight on this site. But while this is really common, in reality it is also really unlikely to turn into something romantic.

Answer:

A teen writes:

"I have a crush I cannot get over! My best friend that I went to high school and now college with is sending me mixed signals. I have already told him I am going through a gay phase, (but I know for sure that I'm gay). But he is into girls, but never makes a big move on them. But out of all his other guy friends he hangs out with me the most. Even after I told him I have been into guys lately."

So how do you get over a straight crush? Here are some ideas.

  • Remind yourself that a one-sided crush is not the same as being in love.
  • Don't try to think of all the things you could have done to get your straight crush to like you. Understand that changing your actions isn't going to change your crush's sexual orientation.
  • Socialize. This can be with the intent to meet someone new, or it can just be a good way to connect with people you have fun with.
  • Stay busy. Sitting at home alone just sets you up for Facebook stalking and sinking into sadness. Doing something almost always makes you feel better than doing nothing.
  • Find the faults. This person wasn't perfect no matter how much you liked him or her.
  • Be a realist. This isn't the movies and you need to accept that your crush isn't going to feel the same.
  • Give yourself space. Often your crush is someone you are friends with, and while you might feel obligated to spend time together, sometimes this is just too painful. Allow yourself to take a break from a crush and give your feelings time to cool down.
  • Be physically active. Not only will working out distract you, but it is also a better way to channel your physical energies than say, downing a tub of ice cream or turning to substances like alcohol or drugs.

    Here's how one teen got over a straight crush:

    "This past summer, I had the worst experience ever: I fell in love with my best friend. My STRAIGHT best friend, mind you. Now he was gorgeous, and we were the best friends ever. Then, unfortunately, IT happened. IT. I became so in love with him, I could not stand it. I even creeped myself out (insert picture of Nicki Minaj doing The Creep). I thought there was no way I would ever get over him. I thought about him, with his tan, surfer's body and chocolate eyes and wavy hair all the time. Obsession was an understatement. Then one morning, I woke up and realized that it had ended. I officially didn't care anymore. And I SWEAR, the day will come. Hang in there, guys. And remember, when in doubt, listen to Someone Like You, cry your heart out, and repeat, until you find that whatever had held you down is gone."

    Now this might not work for everyone, but it is a reminder that even the most serious of crushes usually don not feel as intense over time. Sometimes getting over your straight crush might take a little work and might come with some pain, but once you are free of a crush that keeps you prisoner, you will be able to direct your energies to things that will probably serve you a lot better.