Homer Simpson Shareable Quotes

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Homer Simpson Shareable Quotes

Homer Simpson is arguably the funniest character on The Simpsons. His failed business ventures and his crazy antics are hilarious, but his ridiculously funny statements make him an easy character to quote.

We've created visuals for ten of Homer Simpson's funniest quotes so you can easily share them on Facebook. For each one, we'll suggest how you can use it, and give you some background information on the quote's episode.

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Dinner Invitation

Homer Simpson quote about dinner time — Nancy Basile/ThoughtCo.

Quote: "Oh boy, dinner time. The perfect break between work and drunk."

Suggested uses: Send a Facebook invitation for dinner or after-work drinks.

Episode: "Dial N for Nerder" in The Simpsons Season 19. Marge hires a nutritionist who puts Homer on a strict diet, but Homer decides to sneak in snacks and meals on the side. Marge becomes suspicious of Homer's weight gain and calls the producers of "The Sneakers," a take-off on "Cheaters."

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Donuts

Quote: "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

Suggested uses: Let your co-workers know about the just-delivered donuts in the workroom, or invite a friend out for breakfast.

Episode: "Marge vs. the Monorail" in The Simpsons Season 4. After Mr. Burns pays $3 million for a fine for illegal disposal of nuclear waste, the people of Springfield decide to build a monorail that quickly falls apart. Leonard Nimoy guest stars.

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Cold Turkey

Quote: "Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds."

Suggested uses: Got a friend who's trying to give up a bad habit? Share this quote on Facebook to give them a laugh. Or share it as an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner.

Episode: "Weekend at Burnsie's" in Season 13. The band Phish has a cameo in an episode in which Dr. Hibbert prescribes medicinal marijuana for Homer's eye injury, and the resulting joviality nets Homer a promotion from Mr. Burns.

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Just Because

Homer Simpson quote about listening — Nancy Basile/ThroughtCo.

Quote: "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

Suggested uses: Share this quote during a hot debate on politics or during a friend's rant. You can also share it just to brighten someone's day with a laugh.

Episode: "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" in The Simpsons Season 2. Bart runs away from home when he "accidentally" burns Lisa's masterpiece and refuses to apologize about it.

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Never Good Enough

Quote: "No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

Suggested uses: Share this Homer Simpson quote as a sarcastic way to congratulate a friend, or a funny way to encourage someone, or as a balm when a favorite sports team bombs.

Episode: "Homer at the Bat" in The Simpsons Season 3. When Mr. Burns bets $1 million that his company team can beat the team of a competing power plant, he hires Major League stars to fill his roster.

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Alcohol

Quote: "To alcohol! The cause of—and solution to—all of life's problems!"

Suggested uses: Share this Homer Simpson quote to invite someone out for drinks, or when a close friend has a particularly bad day.

Episode: "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment" in Season 8. Homer starts a business selling booze when Springfield becomes a dry town.

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Failure

Quote: "Trying is just the first step toward failure."

Suggested uses: Send an ironic vote of confidence to a friend or co-worker.

Episode: "Realty Bites" in The Simpsons Season 9. Marge starts embellishing the truth in order to sell houses in her new job as a real estate agent.

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Television

Homer Simpson quote about TV — Nancy Basile/ThoughtCo.

Quote: "Without TV, it is hard to know when one day ends and another begins."

Suggested uses: Share this hilarious Homer Simpson quote during Scree-Free Week or to help explain why you've lost track of time on vacation or when your TV service is down.

Episode: "Missionary: Impossible" in Season 11. Homer becomes a South Seas missionary to escape an angry PBS mob that includes Betty White, who wants to collect his pledge of $10,000. My favorite quote: "Help me, Je-bus!"

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Lying

Quote: "It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

Suggested uses: Anymore this quote applies to almost every conversation about U.S. politicians. You could also send it to another friend who enjoys The Simpsons.

Episode: "Colonel Homer" in The Simpsons Season 3. Homer becomes manager to singer Lurleen Lumpkin, against Marge's wishes.

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Women and Beer

Quote: "A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get to one!"

Suggested uses: Use this Homer Simpson quote when you're talking about women or beer. Or even both. We don't suggest sending it to your female significant other on Valentine's Day, however.

Episode: "New Kid on the Block" in The Simpsons Season 4. Bart falls hard for the girl next door, but gets his heart broken when she starts dating Jimbo.