10 Hilariously Bizarre Rap Lyrics

Rapper Flo Rida

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Rappers love to remind us that they're just like us. They do this for two reasons: 1) They want to seem relatable; 2) Some rappers really are just like the rest of us regular folk. There is one thing all rappers undoubtedly have in common with mere mortals: they are not perfect.

Despite a plentitude of smart lyrics, rap music occasionally produces chuckle-ready, ill-advised or downright bizarre lyrics. This is a tribute to those strange lines that make you go, "Wait, what?" Shockingly, less than half of these are from Flo Rida.

Peep game.

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Dr. Dre - "Keep Their Headz Ringin'"

Song: "Keep Their Heads Ringin'," Dr. Dre

Lyric: "I kick plenty of ass, so call me an astronaut"

Dr. Dre has written and produced many gems. He brought us N.W.A., Snoop Dogg, and Eminem. He could sell headphones for the next 20 years and still go down in history as a hip-hop legend. But even the best of 'em have occasional moments of "wait, what?" This isn't the worst rap lyric ever written, but I'm sure it sounded better in Doc's head.

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Flo Rida - "Sugar"

Song: "Sugar," Flo Rida (Ft. Wynter Gordon)

Lyric: "Level with our trip, I'm a lip bitin' beast/Man for them things, all 42 teeth"

This one is strange on so many levels. First, Flo Rida touts his rep as a "lip biting beast." There's nothing wrong with showing your freaky side, and lip biting can be a fun thing. But when you follow up "lip biting" with the word "beast" you've officially crossed over from the fun side of the freaky spectrum to the cannibalism side. Throw in the "42 teeth" line and you have a confirmed head scratcher. If you're going to make a reference to human teeth, you should probably count your own first.

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The Notorious B.I.G. - "Me & My B--ch"

Song: "Me & My B***h," The Notorious B.I.G.

Lyric: "When I met you I admit my first thoughts was to trick/You look so good, huh, I suck on your daddy's d--k."

Yes, this was a nod to Richard Pryor. Yes, it still sucks. Biggie's opening lines are among the best hip-hop has ever seen, but this one from "Me & My B---h" is one of his weaker lines. Without proper context, it strikes an unsuspecting listener as a bizarre compliment. The original Pryor line was a conversation between a wino and junkie, which is far more interesting. There's extensive set-up, a punchline and a follow-up ("Is that fine enough for your ass?"), all necessary ingredients for this line to work. Biggie's version just sounds like a bad pickup line.

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Flo Rida - "Whistle"

Song: "Whistle," Flo Rida

Lyric: “Order more champagne, pull a damn hamstring / Trynna put it on ya / Bet your lips spin back around corner / Slow it down baby take a little longer.”

I don't get it, Flo. Do you live an alternate universe where the act of ordering champagne is an arduous physical exercise? How do you pull a hamstring while ordering bubbly?

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Flo Rida - "Let It Roll"

Song: "Let It Roll," Flo Rida

Lyric: "It’s like Woodstock city, brand new billion / And bark to the music, sucker than a psychic"

I could have made this entire list with Flo Rida lyrics. This song has so many ludicrous rhymes. It's basically the Lorem Ipsum of rap lyrics.

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Puff Daddy - "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"

Song: "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down," Puff Daddy (Ft. Ma$e)

Lyric: "Young, Black and famous with money hanging out the anus"

Look, I get what Puffy is trying to say here. It sounds like a play on the expression "money out the wazoo," except it doesn't work as well as he may have intended. It supplants the colorful expression for a more graphic line. When someone says they have money out the wazoo/ass, you immediately get where they're coming from without necessarily visualizing the statement. "Money hanging out the anus," however, is very very visual. And kinda gross.

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Slick Rick - "I Own America"

Song: "I Own America" Slick Rick

Lyric: "Give the mack a taste, I wipe my ass with a rapper face"

I love Slick Rick. The man can spin a tale about bagging groceries and make it sound like the most interesting thing you've ever heard. But this line is one of the few clunkers in his catalog. Clearly, Slick Rick forgot his childhood lessons about not eating where you poop. Besides, I don't want to visualize one of my favorite rappers wiping his butt with another rapper's face. That's just too much for my tiny brain to handle.

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Phife Dawg - "Scenario"

Song: "Scenario," A Tribe Called Quest

Lyric: "Bust a nut inside your eye to show you where I come from"

The obvious rap against this line is that it doesn't make any sense at all. Not even as a joke. A joke has to be somewhat realistic or practical to be funny to most people. You can't go around busting a nut in everyone's eye to show them where you come from. That's why maps were invented.

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The Black Eyed Peas - "XOXOXO"

Song: "XOXOXO," The Black Eyed Peas

Lyric: "Butterflies in the tummy / Need Pepto-Bismol / Baby give me more sex though"

Oh, will.i.am. You realize that you get butterflies in your tummy when you like someone? You also know that one of Pepto-Bismol's uses is to treat an upset stomach. So, which is it? Do you like this person or did you eat too much Taco Bell?

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RiFF RAFF - "Mr. Popular"

Song: "Mr. Popular," RiFF RAFF

Lyric: "I take a flight to Spain just to heat a baked potato"

RiFF RAFF is the Michael Phelps of nonsensical raps. It's part of what's made him a minor star in recent years. This gem from "Mr. Popular" is a perfect slice of Riff Raff's absurdist wit. It's bizarre and hilarious and outlandish and it's my favorite line on this list, mostly because you could actually picture Jody Highroller living it out.