16 Hilariously Incorrect Wheel of Fortune Fails

I'd like to buy a vowel...

Via Twitter

Every so often, a Twitter account pops up on our radar that makes us laugh so hard, we wish we'd thought to create it first. The "Wheel of Fortune Answers" Twitter feed (@wofanswers) is one of those creations.

This parody account is perfect for those of us who like to shout out our Wheel of Fortune answers before the contestants have a chance to solve the puzzle. Except, instead of shouting out the correct answer, this Twitter feed provides the most hilariously incorrect puzzle solutions possible.

"The Meaty Canal of Desire"

Via Twitter 

While some of the answers contain curse words or other slightly dirty words, the best false answers always manage to toe the line between clean and raunchy humor.

"Feral Rodeo"

Via Twitter 

You've got to hand it to them for their excellent vocabulary.

"The Damages to the Hearse"

Via Twitter 

And no, the false answers do not have to make any sort of sense, in any way. In fact, the less sense they make, the better. That's what makes them so darn funny!

"Accused Squire Barfed Vegetables"

Via Twitter

See what we mean? What was the squire accused of, and why is he barfing vegetables? The world may never know.

"Slick Poops"

Via Twitter

Many of the answers appeal to the inner 12 year old who lives inside all of us. Don't deny it — you know you've got one, too.

"Shame Parades"

Via Twitter 

Kind of like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but without the turkey, floats, and joy.

"Tonight, Shrimp Hell with Mister Favre"

Via Twitter

I had shrimp hell once, and my stomach hasn't been the same since. Don't know what Mr. Favre has to do with it, though.

"Dads Are Dangerous"

Via Twitter

Dads are many things; helpful, funny, creative, kind – but we've never heard this one.

"The Local Obese Horse"

Via Twitter

​Every neighborhood's got one! They're very difficult to ride, though. Very round. 

"Oh the Crimes You'll Do!"

Via Twitter

Move over, Dr. Seuss! Forget "the places you'll go." It seems the Cat in the Hat has been embracing his inner criminal. 

"Cabbage Mangler"

Via Twitter

The world's worst serial killer? Or perhaps a new term for a chopping device meant to make cole slaw?

Either way, we love this answer.

"The Restricted Buttock"

Via Twitter

Is there any other kind?

"I Now Exist in Hell"

Via Twitter

Wow, we had no idea game shows had gotten so dark. These cheerful couples must be in the midst of an existential crisis of sorts.

"An Aura of Mange"

Via Twitter

Sounds like something that should be treated by your local veterinarian. 

"Boneless Homeboys"

Via Twitter

Boneless homeboys are the best kind of homeboys! So tender and moist.

"The Mouth of Janice"

Via Twitter

We love how this answer is in the "places" category. Not sure where "The Mouth of Janice" is on a map, but we hear it's spectacular in the autumn.

Who's Behind the Feed?

Via Reddit

The Hollywood-based human who writes these answers chooses to remain anonymous, and perhaps it's that anonymity that allows him or her to reply to any question or criticism in the bluntest manner possible.

See What We Mean?

 Via Twitter

Tweet at @wofanswers with a complaint about using the wrong number of letters? You'll receive a curt "No" in reply. This person is a hero.

Why quibble over a tweet that's meant to be just for fun? Anyone who tweets at @wofanswers with anything other than praise gets this treatment, and we love it.

One Thing We Do Know

Via Twitter

Naturally, this anonymous user follows only three other pages on Twitter: Wheel of Fortune, Vanna White, and Pat Sajak. Whoever is behind this account is a true blue Wheel of Fortune fan, and thanks to their great sense of humor, we're joining the fandom, too.