Guide to Sexting Your Spouse

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Sexting has gotten a bad rap because so many people have gotten caught sending embarrassing “sext messages,” provocative and sexually charged text messages, to people other than their spouse. But sexting your spouse as a means of spicing up your sex life and freshening up your marriage can be fun and beneficial. The point is to use sexting for good rather than evil. There are ways to keep sexting pleasurable and prevent it from embarrassing either you or your spouse.

The first step, of course, is sexting only with your husband or wife. Here are some tips for successfully sexting your spouse:


Be smart about sexting


These sext messages are for your spouse’s eyes only. You don’t want others to be reading private love notes, some of which might get downright steamy. It could be really embarrassing, even if you are married to one another. To prevent this, refrain from posting these kinds of messages on the Internet. Once things are on the Internet – even in e-mail – hackers and loved ones who use your computer can easily track them down. Even if you remove messages or images after the fact, they usually last on the Internet for eons to come. Sticking with your private personal cell phones is best. Of course, never send these messages to one another when using someone else’s phone or your business/company cell phone. That’s just asking for trouble.

If you have kids, who use your phone, find a way to block them from seeing these messages or sext with one another when they’re not around and always remember to hit delete.

You don’t want the little ones to see the kind of language mom and dad might use, and it could prompt some unwanted questions about sex.


Be cautious about the images you send when sexting


Sure, your husband might love to receive a naked picture of you on his cell phone. But keep in mind where he’ll be when he gets it and if anyone around him will be able to see.

Also, remember, that once a picture exists, other people can come across it, too. You might be better off saving those naked or provocative photos (the ones of you in his favorite lingerie, perhaps) for your boudoir, where you have more control over its whereabouts.


Be explicit with your words when sexting


Granted, there are some don’ts to prevent embarrassment when sexting, but there are plenty of do’s, too. After all, what is the point of sexting if you’re not going to get each other hot? What is great about sexting, especially for shy types who might not be that comfortable with dirty talk, is that you can write down whatever you are thinking without having to look someone in the eye or say the words out loud.

Think of your greatest sexual fantasy about your spouse and share it with him or her via sext message. Be specific. Since you’ve laid the groundwork to make sure this is between just the two of you, feel free to offer details and use some dirty words if that’s what turns you on. You might describe what you’d like your husband to do to you when he gets home: “I dream of you walking in the door, dropping your briefcase, and ripping my clothes off right there in the living room, without saying a word.” More romantic types might turn on their wife by writing something tamer: “Tonight, I want to lay you down in a bed of soft red rose petals, light candles, and kiss you from head to toe.” Of course, you can get much raunchier with the dirty talk in your sext messages, but I’ll leave that up to you.


Deliver on promises made when sexting


If you told your spouse, you’d be laying her in a bed of roses and lighting candles before kissing her from head to toe, be sure you follow up that sext by doing those things. If she asks you to rip her clothes off as soon as you get home, go ahead and rip off those clothes. What’s fun about sexting is the build up of excitement. However, it will be anticlimactic (literally and figuratively) if you do all this typing without any action.