Entertainment Love and Romance 7 Guaranteed Ways to Turn Your Husband Off Getting your husband's attention requires less effort than you probably realize Share PINTEREST Email Print Balfor/Getty Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Marni Feuerman Psychotherapist Barry University University of Florida California Southern University Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. our editorial process Marni Feuerman Updated May 27, 2017 Many wives complain that their husbands do not pay enough attention to them. The way to get your husband’s attention might seem obvious, but many women get it wrong. Men and women think differently. When you devote yourself to the man in your life, you may feel like you are doing something positive. However, he may feel overwhelmed by this kind of attention and withdraw. If you want your husband's attention, here are seven things you should not do in an attempt to get it: Nagging and complaining This is the most common tactic, but it is also the worst one. It will be sure to have the opposite effect. The more you nag or complain, the more he will avoid you. Saying to him, “You never spend any time with me” is in no way enticing. Why not try “I really miss you because we haven’t seemed to have time together lately.” Texting him constantly You might think that texting the man you like often will keep you on his radar, but what you are really doing is annoying him. Most men do not like to be persistently texted. It's overwhelming, time-consuming, and makes you look clingy. If you want his attention, make yourself less available. Stop texting him and he will wonder where you are. Do not text him again until he replies to your text. When you stop making yourself look like you can only think of him, you will get his attention. Plus you will likely start to feel more secure and confident by making these changes. Trying to make him jealous Pretending you are being hit on by a lot of men is not a good idea if you want your man's attention. If you list off all the men you are talking to and meeting, he will probably begin to wonder if you are needy for all male attention. Or worse, he will assume you are being unfaithful. If he assumes you are lying to get his attention, he will certainly not appreciate this tactic. Acting helpless Acting helpless, dependent or having a “victim mentality” reeks of desperation and insecurity and will probably just anger or scare him (or both). If you have no friends, no hobbies, or life of your own, you will be neither interesting nor desirable. This will make him feel completely burdened by the expectations you put on him to fulfill you. He does not want to be solely responsible for your happiness. Smothering him Wanting to spend every free moment with your husband is smothering. It will make him want to hide from you. He does not want you tagging along on guy's night out or monopolizing all his free time outside of work. Even men need their alone time. Letting yourself go Your husband gets that he did not marry a supermodel. (He may even be able to admit that he is not People’s sexiest man alive either!) Looking perfect is not what’s expected. Your spouse does, however, like to see you take care of yourself. This means being well-groomed, staying healthy, caring about your appearance. Do not get so comfortable in your marriage that you no longer care to be attractive to your partner. Acting entitled Behaviors such as not ever offering to cook a meal or always expecting high priced luxuries will seem entitled or spoiled. At the very least it shows a lack of appreciation. Constant taking and never giving is not sexy by any means. Getting a husband's attention requires much less effort than women realize. Ask yourself if you are doing some behaviors that will keep this from becoming a reality. Most importantly, have your own life and give him enough space to allow him to miss you!