These Funny "Game of Thrones" Jokes Totally Slay

HBO has been warning us that "winter is coming" for a long time and finally the day has come! Since the show's story line has moved beyond author George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series, we find ourselves in uncharted territory. Which of the feisty families will ascend to the Iron Throne? Or will the Knight King harness the dragon stolen from Daenerys Targaryen and bring winter to the Westeros forever?

While we watch with eager anticipation, let's remember that a well-timed joke can ease even the most stressful and torturous scene. Get prepared to crack the perfect joke with one of the doozies below.

Jokes About House Lannister

What do you get when you cross a Lannister and a Lannister?
King Joffrey.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?
Because they push two twins together to make a king.

What's the difference between Cersei Lannister and a direwolf?
Lipstick.

Why did Cersei order the Starks' direwolf to be executed?
She has no Sansa humor.

Why does Jaime Lannister wish he was poor?
Because he needs hand-me-downs.

What is King's Landing famous for?
Its knight life.

Why did Jaime get fired from the cereal factory?
He kept throwing Bran out the window.

Jokes About House Stark

Why doesn't Bran Stark take a bath?
He's used to his strong Hodor.

Why is Arya Stark always on the run?
Because she's constantly being hounded.

Have you heard the song Sansa Stark wrote about her family?
"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."

What do you call a game show about the Starks and the Lannisters?
Family Blood Feud.

Jokes About House Targaryen

What movie does Khaleesi need to watch?
"How to Train your Dragon."

Why are dragons hard to work with?
They fire everyone.

What is the High Sparrow trying to do?
Make Westeros Great Again.

Why does everyone hate Daenerys' stories?
Because they always dragon.

What is someone doing when they swear allegiance to Daenerys?
They are jumping on the band-dragon. 

Jokes About the Night's Watch

What do you call a Disney movie about the Night's Watch?
"Wall-E"

What do the men of the Night's Watch need to protect the Seven Kingdoms from White Walkers?
DEADication!

Jokes About the White Walkers

What are White Walkers looking forward to this winter?
A Wight Christmas.

How do you surrender to the White Walkers?
Raise the wight flag.

What's a White Walkers favorite bean?
A human bean.

Why does the army of the dead suck at basketball?
Because wight men can't jump.

Jokes About The Game

How do you win the Game of Thrones?
It Varys.

Why does the Mountain get bigger every season?
He's been taking Westeroids.

What do Grey Worm and the Kingslayer have in common?
They are both missing parts.

Did you hear about the game show with Theon Greyjoy?
It's called "Wheel of Torture."

Where do Kings learn to kill dragons?
At knight school.

Jokes About Author George R.R. Martin

Why can't George R.R. Martin use Twitter?
He killed off all 140 characters.

What is George R.R. Martin's favorite shampoo?
He doesn't mind, he just picks Daeneryst.

You hear George Martin got signed to write two movies?
They're going to be rated RR.

What happens after you realize a main character hasn't died recently on "Game of Thrones?"
You get Starkophobia.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Not your favorite character. Martin killed them already!

Why do you never ask George R.R. Martin when the next book will be finished?
Because every time he hears that question he kills a Stark—and there aren't many left!