Hilariously Weird Knitwear That Actually Exists

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Funny and Weird Knitted Items

knitted face masks



Knitting and crocheting seem like fun hobbies, and some people are truly talented at creating funky handmade scarves, hats, sweaters, and so on. Yet like all things crafty, there's always potential to let your sense of humor shine and create something that is a little less practical than it is hysterical. Case in point; remember these fabulously raunchy cross stitches?

The knitted and crocheted items here in this gallery are definitely not your average cable knit made with love by Grandma, and the people who make these crazy pieces of knitwear clearly don't take themselves too seriously! That's kind of refreshing, isn't it? So join the fun and have a laugh at some of the weirdest things to have ever happened to an innocent ball of yarn.

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Have Sweater, Will Travel

Man with stonehenge sweater


This man made waves online after a friend uploaded an album of his custom-made sweaters to Imgur. Apparently, he hand-makes a new sweater for every location he plans to visit in the world, then gets a picture of himself wearing the sweater in front of said location. The Imgur album contains glorious shots of the wild-haired knitting man and his fabulous sweaters in locales both impressive and mundane, from Times Square in New York City to a random field filled with powerline towers. Now that's commitment!

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Knitted Bikini

knitted bikini



Just what every woman wants: A nice warm, snuggly knitted bikini to wear while lounging around the pool. 

Of course I'm being facetious here. For one thing, have you ever seen what happens to knitwear when it gets wet? No thank you!

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Sexy Rainbow Shorts

knitted shorts



Not even these sexy male legs posing provocatively can save the horror that is KNITTED SHORTS. These things even make jean shorts ("jorts") seem like a reasonable fashion item. And that's saying something.

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Full Body Sweater

full body sweater


Somebody's grandma really loves him and wants him to stay warm! REALLY, REALLY WARM. From head to toe. Forever.

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Ugly Sweater Built For Two

giant sweater


It's so cute when old people make regrettable choices together, like riding a roller coaster or wearing one gigantic ugly sweater.

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Paging Derek Zoolander

runaway sweater and mittens

The Chive

What I really want to know is are we ever going to get some BIG mittens around here, or what? These tiny mittens look ridiculous!

In all seriousness, this is a male model walking in a real fashion show. This is real life, folks. You can't make this stuff up.

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Put On Your Thinking Cap

Knitted brain cap


Normally I advise people to do anything possible to keep their brains on the inside of their skull, but in this case, I'll make an exception.

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Rasta Baby

Rastafarian baby beard and hair


This yarn wig is perfect for when you want your toddler to look like a young Jerry Garcia. Hey kid, play Touch of Grey.

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Nose Warmers

knitted nose warmer

auntmartymadeit / Etsy

These are nose warmers, which are designed to keep your nose warm, and this is a thing that actually exists. Yes, really! I am as surprised as you are.

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Crochet Toilet Paper

knitted toilet paper


Oh yeah, that looks totally hygienic. I'm all for being green, but c'mon.

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Scary Clown Mask

Clown mask knitted



What a fun mask! It's perfect for when you want to keep your face warm, but you also want to appear terrifying in public. All you need is a van and some candy and you've got the full serial killer starter pack.

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A Tiny Car Cozy

Smary car knitted cover


Just in case your tiny car gets chilly, why not crochet it a humongous car cozy? Seems like a totally reasonable use of your time. 

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Stripper Pole

Knitted "stripper pole" cover

knitdreams / Tumblr

Now any pole can become a stripper pole. Yay?

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Condiment Hat

Ketchup and mustard knitted hat


The look on this man's face says it all, doesn't it?

"Damn it, Aunt Judy. Please just take your picture and let me slink away with a shred of dignity left."

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Warm Enough Yet?

Knitted subway outfit


Still not the weirdest thing we've ever spotted on a subway, but it's close.

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Jaunty Donut Hat

Knitted donut hat


One doesn't simply wear a donut hat; one also has to wear said donut hat at a slightly jaunty angle.

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Welcome to Futurama

Zoidberg knitted face mask


Why not Zoidberg? (Because it's freaky as heck, that's why.)

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Willie Warmer

knitted groin cap


And last but not least, the most embarrassing and ridiculous (not to mention itchy!) knitted item ever made, the Willie Warmer (TM). Yes, it's exactly what it looks like, and it's meant to be used exactly as you think it would be used. What a time to be alive.