Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Create a tradition of humor to go with giving thanks Share PINTEREST Email Print KidStock / Getty Images By Simran Khurana Simran Khurana Education Expert MBA in Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies B.S. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on 01/14/20 Thanksgiving celebrations make for great memories. It's not just the food; the atmosphere of warmth, fun, and humor adds to the festivity and contributes to the family legacy. Grandparents have anecdotes to share about their Thanksgiving holidays, and you can create a trove of memories to pass on to the next generation and create a tradition around values such as love, sharing, generosity, and fun. Serve Humor for Thanksgiving One such tradition could be to make Thanksgiving a day of laughter. Encourage your guests to share funny anecdotes, jokes, and quotes after dinner. These funny Thanksgiving quotes are great for a side dish of humor: Alice B. Toklas: American writer "What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey, or the guinea hen." George Carlin: American comedian "We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing." Mitch Hedberg: American comedian "If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.' " Ambrose Bierce: American writer, journalist ("The Devil's Dictionary") "Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude." Ellen Orleans: American author "I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be overeating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all." Kin Hubbard: American cartoonist, journalist "A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen." Erma Bombeck: American humorist, columnist ("No One Diets on Thanksgiving") "What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?" Cornelius Plantinga Jr.: American theologist "It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general." Alton Brown: TV personality, author "That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs." Ted Nugent: American rock musician "If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed—like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canada geese." Russell Baker: American humor columnist "It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status." Jim Davis: American cartoonist "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." Jon Stewart: American comedian, commentator "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." Johnny Carson: American comedian, talk show host "Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." Anonymous "May your stuffing be tastyMay your turkey be plump,May your potatoes and gravyHave nary a lump.May your yams be deliciousAnd your pies take the prize,And may your Thanksgiving dinnerStay off your thighs!"