These Funny Math Jokes Truly Have No Equal

When you think about the subject of mathematics, chances are your thoughts don't generally jump straight to "hilarious." Yet all of those words and phrases students grew up memorizing actually have the potential to make someone laugh out loud; all you've got to do is shuffle them around and voila: instant knee-slappers! Don't believe us? Just take a look at the funny one-liners below. You can thank us later.

Jokes About Numbers

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.

What do you call a number that just can’t keep still.
A roamin’ numeral. (This one has "dad joke" written all over it!)

What’s the best way to serve pi? A la mode.
Anything else is mean.

Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.

How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”

Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.

Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula. (Bonus credit if you then laugh like The Count, "Ah ah ah!")

Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.

Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary. (We think we know this guy!)

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!

Math Teachers Are the Funniest

What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.

A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.

Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably.

Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.

What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.

What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.

Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.

What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros. (Possibly the best joke on this list, and so simple!)

What did the math teacher rate the movie American Pie?
3.14

Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.

Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.

Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.

Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions. (Happens to the best of us)

How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.

Geometry That Is Not Square

Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.

Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.

How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.

Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.

Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees. (We love a trip to the beach, even if things often get a bit awkward.)

What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.

Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!

Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.

And finally, a one-liner that just about anyone can remember:

I made a mistake and hired an odd-job guy to do eight jobs for me, but at the end of the day, he'd only done jobs 1, 3, 5, and 7!

Looking for some more great, shareable jokes? Check out 30 Nerd Jokes for People Who Embrace Their Inner Smarty-Pants.