17 Humorous Quotes For Halloween

Famous folks share their thoughts on Halloween

Young girl with a jack-o-lantern on her head grinning.


Halloween is a holiday whose traditions vary by culture and geography, but Ireland is the country where it's believed to have originated. The annual event dates back to ancient Celts, who celebrated Halloween as Samhain, or "All Hallowtide," a ritual feast of the dead marking the end of summer. The Swedish celebrate the holiday honoring departed friends and relatives by lighting candles by their graves, while in Austria, you might find yourself leaving out bread and water for dearly departed souls. Here in the U.S., kids celebrate Halloween by trick-or-treating in costumes that run the gamut from screamingly scary to howlingly funny, while adults get in the spirit by throwing lavish dress-up parties. Russia, Mexico, Germany, Japan, and Mexico all celebrate Halloween with their own unique traditions—but no matter where in the world we find ourselves on October 31st, everyone can use a frightfully delightful Halloween quote or two to get them into just the right spooky frame of mind.

Halloween Quotations

"Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, 'Trick or treat...No, thank you.'"
—Rita Rudner
"Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates."—Fernando Pessoa
"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world."—Jean Baudrillard
"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me." Rodney Dangerfield
“I think if human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. Wouldn't life be more interesting that way? And now that I think about it, why the heck don't they? Who made the rule that everybody has to dress like sheep 364 days of the year? Think of all the people you'd meet if they were in costume every day. People would be so much easier to talk to—like talking to dogs. ”―Douglas Coupland, "The Gum Thief"
“Dear Great Pumpkin, Halloween is now only a few days away. Children all over the world await you coming. When you rise out of the pumpkin patch that night, please remember I am your most loyal follower. Have a nice trip. Don't forget to take out flight insurance.”―Linus from Charles M. Schulz's "The Complete Peanuts, Vol. 6: 1961-1962"
"Every day is Halloween, isn't it? For some of us."—Tim Burton
"I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween."—Anonymous
"The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, 'Who? Who? Who?'
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
'Scary Halloween to you!'"
—Nina Willis Walter
"From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!"—Scottish Saying
"Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night."—Steve Almond
"Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the 'spirits' of things."—Dee Snider
"This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."—Conan O'Brien
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."George Carlin
"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion." Henry David Thoreau
“Conservatives understand Halloween, liberals only understand Christmas. If you want to control a population, don't give it social services, give it a scary adversary.”―Tom Robbins, "Skinny Legs and All"
"I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' "—Drew Carey


  • Morrison, Patt. "Halloween is turning into a worldwide holiday. Why do so many people love to be scared?" Los Angeles Times, October 31, 2018.