Five Types of Straight Crushes

Gay Teens Have Different Experiences When their Crushes is Straight

Over 800 GLBT teens have shared their experiences having a crush on someone straight. These crushes can go a lot of different ways from ending in a romance, to staying forever unrequited. Here teens reveal their experiences in different crush situations.

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The Unrequited Crush

Five teenagers walking together beside river
Alan Graf/Cultura/Getty Images

Though it is perfectly normal to have a crush on someone straight, it is likely that that person will never return your feelings. How you handle this reality will vary from person to person. As one teen writes,

"I'm 15 and gay. It's not easy. Particularly, because I have no gaydar, I can't tell wether a guy is gay, bi, or whatever. The guys I seem to always be attracted to are always the clearly straight ones. It is also hard because I am not fully out to everyone at my school. I've told a small amount of close friends, but I'm still a little nervous of coming fully out." It would be easier if I could find a perfect guy (who probably doesn't exist), and go out with him. I hate thinking about guys I can never be with, and I get very lonely sometimes, wishing I had someone to hold. Oh well, I guess the hard part of being gay is you have to learn to get over straight people, and keep searching for the right guy, or girl for you."
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The Crush Where You Get Mixed Signals

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Getting mixed signals from a crush can be really confusing!. Image (c) Leo Reynolds

What happens when you get mixed signals from your crush? Say they say they are straight, but then get physical or even make-out with you? That's what happened to these teens.

As the first one, a 16-year-old bisexual cheerleader says:

"My best friend is she straight and I haven't come out, so people think I'm straight. But we flirt sometimes and I really like it and I think she does too. We talk about making out and are planning on it next week. We do everything together and are completely inseparable. But I know she likes boys. She's completely straight. I'm confused because we flirt a lot, and she gives me butterflies."

Another teen, this one a boy is in a similar position. He explains:

"I have a crush on my best friend who i knew since 9th grade. I was never shy in talking to him and he's really cool. but recently he found out i was bi and he asked me if i liked him. I told him I did, and apparently, he's secretly bi too! We dated for a day. He broke up with me the next day after kissing me. After 2 days, I was over the break up and I want him back! He asked me to help him because he likes my girl best friend and he wants to go out with her. Now I'm getting mixed signals from him and it makes me like him even more."
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When Your Straight Crush Starts Dating Your Friend

teen couple
Sometimes your straight crush will start dating your friend. Image (c) karpov the wrecked train

One of the worst things that can happen is when your straight crush starts dating your opposite sex friend.

As one high schooler says:

"I'm a 14-year-old male and I'm bisexual. I have two best mates, one male J (who I fancy really badly) and a female called C. About one month ago J and C went out with each other, and it really upset me. The two people I love were taken from me. I even started thinking of having an open relationship with them both."
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When Revealing a Crush to a Straight Friend Harms the Friendship

lonely sad gay teen
Revealing a crush can be very risky. Image (c) Marius Dollinger

It is really common for teens yo develop crushes on close friends. This isn't surprising since some of the qualities that draw you to a buddy can also be a romantic draw. But crushing on a pal can have its downsides.

A teen writes:

My best friend kept sending me signals that I interpreted as romantic interest in me. A year ago, I told him that I had a crush on him. Unfortunately, once I told him, I realized we were on totally different pages. It was one of the MOST hurtful things I've ever experienced. I cried many, many times, and then tried to fix it by forcing him to talk about it. Add to this the fact that we were living together for several weeks afterward, and it was just a train-wreck of a situation. He started establishing a huge distance between us, and he was sometimes really mean to me. Anyway, it's been a year, and though i've begun to get over hating him, I know the relationship can never be what it was. I should say that this grew my gaydar exponentially. Think, really hard, about what will happen in the worse case scenario, and ask if it's really worth it. Also "gay-ish" behavior with friends) does necessarily indicate desire to be in a gay romantic relationship - lots of guys just act gay."
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The Crush That Turns into a Relationship

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Sometimes your straight crush can actually become something more. Image (c) Made Underground

Have you ever had a crush that turned into a relationship? Look, it isn't common, but it can happen.

A 17-year-old recalls her experience.

"I had a crush on the girl from my English class for so long. Then in 10th grade we were in a play together and after on rehearsal we started kissing. She told me she was straight (she knows I am not). But we were together for the whole play. Then it ended and we didn't hang out any more. But it was okay. We're not friends, but we are cool when we see each other now."