Entertainment Love and Romance Tips for Having Sex for the First Time Share PINTEREST Email Print Michael Edwards/Getty Images Love and Romance Sexuality Relationships Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Cory Silverberg York University The Ontario Institute for Studies in Education at The University of Toronto Cory Silverberg is an educator, author, and speaker with a passion for teaching people of all ages about gender and sexuality. our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter Cory Silverberg Updated March 26, 2018 For some people, first-time sex can feel like throwing yourself into the deep end of the pool without being sure how well you can swim. It would be great if we all felt ready but we don't. And to make matters more complicated, there are so many misconceptions about first-time sex. First, when people talk about having sex for the first time, they usually think that means intercourse. Some of us won't ever have intercourse either because we can't, we don't want to, or it's not the thing that works with our body and the bodies we want to have sex with. Second, first-time sex is usually thought of as something that happens between teenagers. While most people have sex before their twenty, actually a lot of don't. Millions and millions of us in fact. First-time sex isn't a topic only for young people. Third, despite almost all the evidence to the contrary, there is still this idea that your first time having any sex will be or should be, magical. This is rarely the case (sorry). Many women, for example, have had a lot of sex, but are still be waiting for their first orgasm (either ever, or first orgasm during partner sex). For people whose first experiences with sex were forced, whether or not there was physical violence involved, the idea of “first sex” can be very different and may evoke more anxiety or fear than excitement. There aren’t any rules to this, we each come to every first-time sexual experience with our own history as well as our own unique feelings and expectations. First Ever, or First With Someone New? For some reason, we reserve the biggest deal for the things we've never done before, but since each sexual relationship, and even each sexual encounter, holds the possibility for new discoveries, your first time with a new person might be way more interesting or mind-blowing than your first time ever. Whether it's a first, or a first with person X, if you’re at the point where you’ve decided you’re ready for a new sexual first in your life, and you’re not sure how to go from mental preparedness to get it on, here are some tips to consider for different first time sex experiences. First Time Orgasm Preparing for your first orgasm isn’t like preparing for your first camping trip. There’s no easy to follow checklist that will direct you to everything you need to get to your destination safely and on time. But here are six things to consider if you’re on the road to your first orgasm. First Time Intercourse We place huge expectations on the role of intercourse in our sexual relationships and most of those expectations can actually get in the way of enjoying your first time having intercourse. It’s unlikely that the first time will ever be the best, but here are some things that may make your first time better. First Time Anal Sex Most people think that anal sex always involves some pain until you’re “used to it”. But pain shouldn’t be a part of your first or fifty-first anal sex experience. If you’re thinking about anal sex, here’s what you need to know to have safe, fun, and pain-free play, from the first time.