How to Not Let Others Bring You Down

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If you’re in the dating world, it can be hard to not let others bring you down and make you feel badly about yourself. Since rejection is an inherent part of dating, it can feel as though you’re constantly getting put down or let down by others who you’re just trying to get to know. Every swipe right that doesn't result in a match, every app message that goes unanswered, and every disappointing date you have can start to weigh on you and your self-esteem.

But before you give up on dating entirely, there are five important ways to rise above the rejection, be your best self, and not let others get the better of you.

1. Don’t Take It Personally

One of the best ways to prevent people from bringing you down is to not take dating rejection to heart. For instance, if people string you along on a dating site but never want to meet up or someone ghosts you after a date, it’s imperative to recognize that it’s more about them than you. Besides, they don't even know you! While you may think there must be something wrong with you personally because people on the dating apps aren't giving you much attention or because you were brushed off by some guy or girl, you have to remember that you have no real clue what’s happening in their lives. Face it, you don't know anything behind the real reasoning why you didn’t hear from them. Perhaps they got back together with their ex, aren't looking for a long-term relationship, or are only in town for the weekend.

So in the face of this kind of hardship and disappointment, it's time to find your inner Taylor Swift and “Shake It Off.”

2. Have a Positive Outlook

If the dating world is bringing you down, you should give yourself an attitude makeover. It can be hard in the face of disappointment to not let others get to you, but if you adjust your outlook and try to focus on the good, the process will be far more tolerable and even enjoyable.

Rather than going on a date already feeling that it's going to fail miserably and won’t amount to anything, try having a more upbeat and positive attitude, as this will impact your words and actions on the date for the better. Don’t let the bad dates you’ve had in the past undermine the potential dates that you'll have in the future. While it may seem challenging, if you look at dating with a more optimistic outlook, your dating life will improve as a result.

3. Have Realistic Expectations

If you don’t want others to get to you, it’s time to manage your own dating expectations and understand what’s actually important when seeking a mate. When you feel as though the dates you go on keep disappointing you, underwhelming you, and bringing you down, it’s crucial to check that your expectations are in fact reasonable. For instance, if you expect the person you’re meeting to own a condo, wear expensive clothes, and have a timeshare in Mexico, you’re focusing on the superficial rather than what’s actually meaningful. And you’ll likely be disappointed and let down since you’re hung up on matters of fake importance. However, if you place a priority on meeting someone who has great morals rather than a great car, you’re more likely to find someone truly special.

4. Remember How Awesome You Are

Having confidence and high self-esteem is crucial when it comes to dating. And if you feel that others are bringing you down, it’s time to focus on yourself and remember all that you have to offer. Your worth isn’t defined by what others think of you, and if getting ignored, dumped, or ghosted has you feeling blue, it’s time to redirect that energy into something more positive and productive. Rather than spending time feeling badly about yourself, you should take that time to do something you actually enjoy, whether it’s practicing yoga, watching a movie, or going shopping.

5. Take a Dating Break if You Need It

Dating is supposed to be fun, but if you just can’t seem to find any joy in it at the moment, you can always opt to take a break. This downtime can give you the opportunity to think more about what you’re looking for in another person as well as limit your exposure to other people in the dating world who are getting to you at the moment.

Dating shouldn’t “suck” or be seen as a chore or a job, and if you’re feeling that the people you’re meeting just keep letting you down, blowing you off, and treating you disrespectfully, you should take time for yourself. Since the dating app world can feel overwhelming at times, it’s always in your best interest to pause for a bit and refocus on what you’re looking for before signing back in and venturing out on the dating scene once again.