Do All Lesbians Like Dildos?

Dildos. © Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Question: Do All Lesbians Like Dildos?


First, what is are dildos?

Dildos are sex toys that can be used for vaginal, oral or anal penetration. Dildos are phallic-shaped sex toys that can be used for penetration during sex. Since many women enjoy penetration and are not naturally equipped with a phallus, a dildo makes a great addition to a lesbian's sexual tool kit. 

Dildos can be handheld or used with a harness.

Holding a dildo in your hand allows for greater control and sensation for the active partner. Wearing a dildo in a harness-called strapping it on, or strapping-can provide pleasure and stimulation for the person wearing it, as the friction on the clitoris can be enough for the wearer to enjoy an orgasm, while simultaneously pleasuring her partner. 

But do lesbians like dildos? Do you have to like strap-on sex to be a lesbian?

Of course not! Some women enjoy penetration. Others do not. Some lesbians who do like penetration, prefer a partner use her fingers or her hand. 

For some lesbians, a dildo is too similar to a real human phallus and they want nothing to do with that. Others simply enjoy penetration and will use a dildo that is not realistic looking. For a while, dildos shaped like dolphins or other woodland creatures were popular. Now sex toy stores simply stock dildos that have the cylinder shape but without the veins or head to make it look like a real penis.


Other lesbians enjoy playing around with gender in the bedroom and a realistic looking dildo is what they prefer. There is really no one way to enjoy sex--with or without a dildo or penetration. That is one of the great things about being a lesbian, there are so many ways to enjoy sex for both partners.


Some lesbians love sex with penetration, whether with a dildo, vibrator, fingers, hands or other object. Others don't like penetration at all. Some lesbians love to wear the dildo and be the active partner or "top" and would never want one inside them. Others prefer the opposite. Some lesbians like to be both a "top" and a "bottom." And some prefer sex where both are penetrated at the same time. 

So, no, not all lesbians like sex with dildos. Being a lesbian is not about what sexual practices you do or do not engage in, rather it's about who you want to have those sexual relationships with. Lesbians are women who are emotionally and sexually attracted to other women. There are many ways to be a lesbian and many ways to express your sexuality as a lesbian.