Divorce Guide for Men

Advice and resources for men during divorce.

Couple sat down looking angry
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Divorce is usually a one-sided decision which catches a husband off guard. Very rarely do couples sit down and come to the decision to end their marriage together. In most situations, a husband is left to struggle with the consequences of his wife’s decision to file for a divorce. It isn’t easy to deal with the admission by a wife that she no longer wants to be in the marriage.

Such rejection is a huge blow to a man’s emotional equilibrium.

He is left with sleepless nights, thoughts of no longer fathering his children on a daily basis and fears of not being able to protect his legal rights in a Family Court system that some say favor women and mothers during the divorce process.

This article will help you by giving advice from a man and father’s point of view. Below you will find links to articles that will guide you through commonly faced problems men deal with during the divorce process.


How Men can Cope With the Emotional Aspects of Divorce


The process of divorce is a legal one. There is no place in that legal process for negative emotions. The most important thing a man can do is deal with the emotional aspect of divorce in a way that doesn’t allow them to interfere with the legal issues.

In other words, you need a clear head, a thought process that is led by logic, not anger or fear. The only way to keep emotions from co-mingling with the legal process is to learn good coping strategies.

Don’t bury your emotions, don’t deny feelings, work through them so that you can be at your best when fighting for your legal divorce rights.

Men, since they are better at compartmentalizing their emotions are better fitted for the legal aspect of the divorce process. That is one thing you have in your favor from the beginning.

Men are logical thinkers, women are emotional thinkers!

Below are links to article that you will find helpful.

  • Tips For Dealing With Stress During Divorce
  • Nine Tips For Taking Care of Yourself During and After Divorce
  • Recognizing The Emotional Stages of Divorce


How Men can Navigate the Legal Process of Divorce


So, where do you start once you’ve dealt with issues of the heart? With a divorce attorney of course! And, being a man you are going to need a good divorce attorney. You’ve got a lot to consider and a lot to protect. BUT, if you have a good divorce attorney, one who has good negotiating skills you can protect your role as a father and all those assets you and your wife have acquired through the years. Take a look below for articles that will help you hire a divorce attorney that will advocate for you.

  • Which is Right For You, Mediation of a Divorce Attorney?
  • How to Find a Divorce Attorney
  • Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Divorce Attorney
  • The Top 5 Things to Consider When Hiring a Divorce Attorney
  • What Kind of Experience Should a Divorce Attorney Have?


How Men can Protect Their Child Custody Rights During Divorce


As I said above, the Family Court system can be biased against women when it comes to child custody.

Change is afoot though and fathers who are willing to go the extra mile are gaining more time with their children after divorce. More and more fathers are gaining 50/50 custody and in some cases legal custody of their children.

It's imperative as fathers that you not be swayed from fighting for custodial time with your children based on stories you read online. The Father's Rights Movement makes a lot of noise about fathers not being able to gain 50?50 or full custody of their children but, you don't know what the outcome will be in your case until you've tried in court to gain your rightful parenting time. 

Below are links to articles about shared parenting and custody after divorce. It is imperative that every father realizes the importance of their role in a child’s life. Your wife may want a divorce, that doesn’t mean you have to become a visitor in your child’s life.

When hiring an attorney make sure he/she understands your desire to gain as much custody as possible and is willing to go to bat for you in court.

  • The Importance of Equal Parenting
  • Shared Parenting Myths
  • Organizations That Advocate Fathers Rights and Shared Parenting
  • U. S. Child Custody and Support Laws
  • Types of Child Custody
  • Child Support Calculators by State


What Men Should Expect During the Divorce Process


The steps you will go through during the divorce process will depend upon the district you live in. Every state has differing divorce laws and every county has its own procedure. Your divorce attorney will be and should be willing to walk you through what the divorce process will be like for you.

Below is a link to an article that will give you an idea of what to expect in most cases.

  • Steps Involved in the Divorce Process


Understanding the Division of Marital Assets During Divorce


When dividing property during divorce a court will first determine if the property is marital or non-marital property. This can be a very complicated process and is dealt with according to your state's laws. Below, you will find articles that address marital property and how it is distributed during divorce.

  • How is Property Divided in an Equitable Distribution State?
  • Issues Surrounding the Division of Marital Assets
  • What is a QDRO?
  • Divorce Settlement and the IRS
  • How to Negotiate the Best Possible Divorce Settlement Agreement