How Couples’ Meditation Strengthens Relationships

Meditation is a practice with many benefits, and is a form of training of the mind and thoughts. Ellie Shoja, a meditation expert, says, “the same way that physical exercise is a training of the body, meditation is a training of the mind. It allows us to learn how to focus, quieten, and train our minds. We do this by first recognizing that we are thinking; second, by learning how to release thoughts that are not serving us; and finally, by replacing those thoughts with ones that help us rather than hurt us.” This practice has even more benefits than just positive thoughts and thinking. And often when we help ourselves, we help those around us. In this way, solo meditation can positively affect a relationship.

In addition, couples’ mediation or practicing forms of meditation with your partner can strengthen your relationship. Below are a few ways that it can help, along with some best practices and tools to try out for yourself!

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Reduce Stress and Resolve Conflict

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According to the site Mindful Couples, “couple meditation is one of the most effective tools to help people in a relationship keep their cool when they are in conflict” because it’s a powerful way to relax together, and to tune into each others subtle cues. It can also bring harmony within the relationship through synced breathing.

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor and a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist works with his wife Rivka on The Marriage Restoration Project, a Global Initiative to help keep couples together and happy. He also suggests that meditation can reduce stress in a relationship. “When couples experience stress, they are unable to access the logic part of their brain. They are focused on survival and are not able to think in the best interest of the relationship.” Meditation practices can help, though, he encourages. “By creating calm, couples can access their prefrontal cortex and be able to spend more time in the cognitive part of their brain. This will enable them to work better together, to bond, and strengthen romance.”

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Increase Loving Connection

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Katie Ziskind, a yoga teacher and licensed marriage and family therapist adds “meditation can promote self-awareness, so each person is more in tune with their true and genuine feelings rather than living in anger or sarcasm.” Without sarcasm in the way, couples can lift resentment and start communicating in a more loving way.

Ziskind suggests that meditating together or alone can increase positive connection. “Meditation teaches ‘ahimsa’, which can translate to ‘love for oneself is love for all’ or ‘non-violence’. From this place of unity in meditation, a couple can learn to respect each other's feelings and opinions,” she states.

Breathing together and syncing your breathing can also create a deep connection. And tuning into each other on any level is important for understanding and empathy. These lead to love and trust, two of the most powerful backbones in any relationship, especially romantic or long term relationships.

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Team Effort

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Remember, meditation is a practice, and consistently showing up to practice it is important. Being accountable with your partner can encourage support between the two of you. It’s a real opportunity to cheer each other on and keep each other committed to your practice, and each other. Try setting aside a specific part of the day or get into a weekly routine together.

You can start small with simple breathing practices and move into more advanced variations together. And it can be lying down, sitting, or even walking together. Mindfulness and meditation have many different forms of practice.

The two of you can make it habit, just like date night and take turns choosing different meditations or guided visualizations to try. In fact, the two of you can look forward to it, knowing that you’ll arise with greater ease and calm afterward. And any positive shared activity strengthens relationships, so why not choose one that clears the mind and opens the heart?

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Tools to Use

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Apps are a great way to carry meditation in your pocket. On your phone, you and your sweetie can tune in to guided meditations, meditation music, and lessons on meditation together. Try Insight Timer, Calm, Unplug, or Headspace. These popular apps each have free versions that you two can test out.

Working with a counselor or coach on meditation can greatly increase its effectiveness. A counselor can assist couples in working through anything that comes up during the meditation with a focus on cooperation and growth for the relationship.

Group Meditation is a social way to raise your vibrations with your other half. It can also offer you outside perspective and a shared sense of community. Look for meditation groups on sites like MeetUp or find a space dedicated to this in your area, like Chill, a modern meditation studio in Chicago.

Chill’s founder, Laura Sage adds, “Inevitably, you will both have something you want to share about your meditation practice. Open communication and discovery about your partner are great for relationships. And, more often than not, you will also both feel better post meditation.”