"Constantly Imagining the First Time," Gay and Lesbian Teens Talk About Sex

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Gay and Lesbian Teens Talk About Sex

Sex is a big issue for a lot of gay and lesbian teens, and there is a huge range of experiences among young GLBT individuals.

Things like deciding whether to have sex, fantasizing, and figuring up who you are attracted to, are all issues that come up frequently.

Here, some gay and lesbian teens talk about sex and share their thoughts, feelings and fears about the subject.

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A Gay Teen Feeling Pressured to Have Sex

lonely sad gay teen
Image (c) Marius Dollinger

Miles is a 16-year-old who loves Ellen DeGeneres, Matt Damon, punk, pop and rock music as well as biking and tennis. Here he explains how being younger than his friends can complicate questions about sex.

"I'm 16, and out to my school. There are 5 gay guys in my school, including myself, and 2 lesbians. When ever I'm around my boyfriends - meaning the gay guys - they sometimes talk about what great sex they've all had and what awesome boyfriend they're with.

I on the other hand am single and have never had sex with a guy. They joke with me about being the baby, cause' I'm the youngest, and how innocent I am because I haven't had sex.

I've only been with 2 guys the past couple of years and I feel that I am left out and to "fit in" I have to have sex.

They pressure me about it and I do feel bad and like an outcast because I mean what gay guy wouldn't want to have sex? But then having to face public humiliation about it...

It bothers me quite a bit. I feel like I'm being pressured to have sex with the first person who offers it. I've been offered to do it orally but I said no, because it would be meaningless."

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Bisexual Girl, Confused and Not Enjoying Sex With Male Partners

teen couple
Image (c) karpov the wrecked train

Lorax identifies as a bisexual teen. She's sexually active with both genders, but is beginning to question whenever this is the best thing for her to be doing.

"I've considered myself bi for a long time, but my sexual relationships have mainly been with men, and I don't enjoy them.

I'm the craziest person I know because I simply don't enjoy sex with men, (I'm a girl by the way) although I feel attracted to them.

I do though, love sex with women. I have less of it though, as I am more reserved with my body around women. I feel like it's a higher sex.

Like, sex with a guy is just normal and supposed to happen. But sex with a woman is just beautiful, more enjoyable, better, but therefore more for me to worry about.

I actually love my body less when around women, perhaps because to me, everyone woman is more beautiful than I am, and men just simply aren't on that level.

Maybe I'm just bi to hold on to a little bit of "normality". I hide myself behind sex with men, it makes me feel that supposed normality I guess. I'm just very confused."

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Fantasizing About a Teacher

Canney: is a 13-year-old lesbian. She loves music, hate seafood and is dealing with, "being single, but in love with multiple straight women." Here she talks about one way this becomes a challenge.

"Everyday, I watch lesbians, like movie clips from YouTube or parts of the L Word on YouTube, since my mom doesn't know I'm lesbian.

So for the past two days my hormones have been out of control (it's not that time of the month). But it's very annoying.

Well, anyway, the other day I found this hot sex scene from the movie "Loving Annabelle" and the teacher looks so much like my math teacher it's scary!

So all I can think about is ME having that sex scene with my math teacher!!

And she's not even that attractive! All during math class today all I could think about was that sex scene and me doing my teacher. It's so annoying!"

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Constantly Imagining the First Time

gay teens kissing
gay teens kissing

Zach: is a 16-year-old gay teen who likes cooking and imagines adopting children one day. He also imagines what it will be like to have sex for the first time.

"I'm not entirely out of the closet, all of my friends know, most against my will. But my problem is that I think about sex and relationships more than humanly possible.

So each time I think about my 'first relationship' or 'first time' the scenario gets more and more specific, and I'm worried that now I'm passing up any remotely potential options because they don't fit my fairy tale idea.

Oh, and the other obsession I have is watching those oh-so-cute gay movies on YouTube. Not the stupid montages, the ripped full length films. This morning I watched "Summer Storm", and all I can say is that it was really cute.

So what I contracted from that endeavor is that I want at least one of my relationships to be with a guy who is in the closet, and sort of comes out to me, and.. I don't know, then WE DO IT!"

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Straight Girl Attracted to FTM Transgender Man

Sign at the Trans March
Image (c) Transguyjay

Amelie identifies as straight. But her feelings for an FTM tansgender man have made her question if this label is still the right one for her.

"I am a 20 year-old female, and I consider myself to be straight, and although I have a few fantasies about women, I feel like they are more curiosities than real sexual or romantic attraction.

I have many lesbian and gay friends, and I have always been very accepting and open to the idea of a sexual spectrum when it comes to others' sexuality.

I have recently become friends with a FTM transgender man, and I find myself very sexually (although not romantically) attracted to him."

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Losing My Virginity

Image (c) Philip Leroyer

Shantastic talks about losing his virginity and how even though it was physically satisfying, he was both surprised and a little disappointed by the experience.

"I lost my virginity! After skinny dipping, and taking a shower together, I was the bottom. I was surprised that it actually wasn't painful at all because I was ready.

My problem, though, is just the opposite. It was such intense pleasure that I came right then, in the first 2 seconds of sex. It was still amazing but it was a little disappointing."