Entertainment Love and Romance 5 Common Cheating Spouse Behaviors Share PINTEREST Email Print Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Cathy Meyer University of Florida Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com. As a divorce mediator, she provides clients with strategies and resources that enable them to power through a time of adversity. our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter Cathy Meyer Updated May 23, 2019 How can you tell if your spouse is cheating? If your spouse is having an affair, his/her behaviors will change. What was once normal behavior will be replaced by behaviors in your spouse that you are not used to seeing. Not all behavior changes indicate your spouse is cheating but, it pays to pay attention and if you are suspicious dig deep into why your spouse is acting so strangely. Below are 5 cheating spouse behaviors to be on the look-out for: 1. Your spouse becomes concerned about his/her appearance. He/she will pay more attention to how their hair looks. There may be shopping for new, more stylish clothes or dressing in an attempt to look younger. Your spouse will pay more attention to hygiene. Maybe even wearing cologne that is out of character for him/her. If your spouse becomes as conscious of their looks as they were when you two were first dating, this is a sign, something is up. Is he showering when he comes home from work in the evenings? That may be him trying to wash off the scent of his lover. Is she dressing nice when she goes to the mall? Maybe she isn't out shopping but out and up to no good. 2. Your spouse joins a gym. Has your spouse always been a bit overweight? Is he/she now suddenly concerned with dropping the weight and shaping up? If your spouse has never shown any concern for weight problems before or their physical appearance, this new concern should be a red flag for you. More than likely he/she is attempting to become more attractive to someone else. 3. There are changes in sexual behavior. This issue can be two-fold. If your spouse is cheating and learning new sexual tricks he/she may want to try them out in bed with you. Or, if they are cheating they may have no interest in sex with you. If your spouse has introduced new sexual tricks into your intimate relationship it is only normal for you to wonder where he/she learned those tricks. If your spouse shows no interest in intimacy with you, it is also normal to wonder if he/she is getting sex somewhere else. In some cases where a physical affair has turned into a love affair, the cheater may refuse sex with their spouse out of feelings of guilt and not wanting to "cheat" on their affair partners. 4. Has your spouse become short-tempered? He/she may be less tolerant and short-tempered with family members. He/she may snap at things that never bothered them before. A cheating spouse will start arguments over small issues to create a distance from their partner. Creating emotional distance between the cheater and spouse helps relieve any quilt the cheater may feel. It also helps justify the cheating by giving the cheater further justification for cheating on such an unreasonable spouse. They will also start an argument as an excuse to leave the house. What better excuse to get away and spend time with the other man/other woman than an argument? 5. Friends of your spouse are behaving oddly. Not only will the cheater’s behavior change but so will that of any friends who know and are covering for him/her. Pay close attention to how his/her friends are behaving around you. Knowing what to look for and bringing an end to the affair quickly will play a huge role in whether or not you marriage survives an affair. Knowing what to look for and gathering evidence quickly will also help you if you should file for a divorce.