20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentine's Day Cards

Valentine's Day is designed to be a day of love; a day to celebrate the joy of having found that special someone; a day for romance! It's the one holiday every year when people who are normally not particularly sentimental find themselves forced to fake it till they make it. Suddenly people are scrambling to find the perfect gift - maybe some candy in a heart-shaped box, some overpriced flowers, sexy lingerie... or just a heartfelt greeting card. 

Instead of being mushy, what would happen if we all suddenly dropped the pretense and said what we really think about V-day? Instead of "I love you," what if we were brutally honest with our mates in the name of humor? We're talking to the people who know us best, after all! They've smelled our morning breath and have probably seen us at our absolute worst, yet they still like us! Now that's love.

These hilarious and brutally honest Valentine's Day cards shove their way past pleasantries and tell it like it really is! Plus, all 20 cards are available to download on Etsy. Enjoy!

Shave your legs in winter? HA! Yeah right. I believe it was ye olde sage Meatloaf who said it best: "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." 

Anyone who has ever lived through a post-snow storm melt can tell you how enduring those dirty snow banks are.

Ain't that the truth? 

Now that is sweet. Who says romance is dead? 

This is the kind of compliment you wish he'd kept to himself.

There's nothing quite like the comfort of a relationship based on a solid foundation of complacency and laziness.

This one is for those of us who like to keep it saucy.

The practical thinker's main requirement in a mate.

This card is going right up on the fridge. Or possibly even into a frame!

Perhaps some fiber would help. What's the mental equivalent of prune juice? Is it Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

Stupid money, always getting in the way of things I want to do.

Hope this takes the sting out of being called an a--hole.

Love is tolerating, not necessarily accepting, the bodily noises (and smells) of another person. If you can do that, the rest is easy. 

Wait, nice rooster? Nice chicken? I don't get it!

Just kidding. Right this way, Mr. Doodle-Doo.

That sounds like a promise. A sexy promise.

This card is the perfect way to tell that special someone that he's not Mr. Right, he's Mr. Right Now. Sweet.

So you've got more issues than People magazine? Who cares? 

This is real talk, right ladies? Only we know how truly skeevy that favorite bra gets before we risk sending it through the wash... and we'll never tell.

Avoiding people is much more fun when you've got someone to do it with. Now get out there and tell someone that you love them. Honesty is the best policy! Happy Valentine's Day.