20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

funny honest valentine — Via Spade Stationary on Etsy.

Valentine's Day is designed to be a day of love; a day to celebrate the joy of having found that special someone; a day for romance! It's the one holiday every year when people who are normally not particularly sentimental find themselves forced to fake it till they make it. Suddenly people are scrambling to find the perfect gift - maybe some candy in a heart-shaped box, some overpriced flowers, sexy lingerie... or just a heartfelt greeting card.

Instead of being mushy, what would happen if we all suddenly dropped the pretense and said what we really think about V-day? Instead of "I love you," what if we were brutally honest with our mates in the name of humor? We're talking to the people who know us best, after all! They've smelled our morning breath and have probably seen us at our absolute worst, yet they still like us! Now that's love.

These hilarious and brutally honest Valentine's Day cards shove their way past pleasantries and tell it like it really is! Plus, all 20 cards are available to download on Etsy. Enjoy!

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

shave legs valentine — Via Rosie Illustrates on Etsy.

Shave your legs in winter? HA! Yeah right. I believe it was ye olde sage Meatloaf who said it best: "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that."

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

funny valentine — Via LeopardPrintCards on Etsy.

Anyone who has ever lived through a post-snow storm melt can tell you how enduring those dirty snow banks are.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

Phone Bed Valentine — Via SaritaPaperita on Etsy.

Ain't that the truth?

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

I love your stupid face — Via CreativitaShop on Etsy.

Now that is sweet. Who says romance is dead?

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

robot valentine's day card — Via DebmonDesign on Etsy.

This is the kind of compliment you wish he'd kept to himself.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

There's nothing quite like the comfort of a relationship based on a solid foundation of complacency and laziness.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

wish it was you valentine — Via LexDesignsUK on Etsy.

This one is for those of us who like to keep it saucy.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

The practical thinker's main requirement in a mate.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

This card is going right up on the fridge. Or possibly even into a frame!

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

Perhaps some fiber would help. What's the mental equivalent of prune juice? Is it Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

Stupid money, always getting in the way of things I want to do.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

favorite asshole valentine — Via HonestAF Cards on Etsy.

Hope this takes the sting out of being called an a--hole.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

Prosecco Burps Valentine — Via WeArePaperPlane on Etsy.

Love is tolerating, not necessarily accepting, the bodily noises (and smells) of another person. If you can do that, the rest is easy.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

cock rooster valentine — Via Rockabelle3PhotoArt on Etsy.

Wait, nice rooster? Nice chicken? I don't get it!

Just kidding. Right this way, Mr. Doodle-Doo.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

that thing I never do valentine — Via Objectables on Etsy.

That sounds like a promise. A sexy promise.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

You'll do valentine — Via SmudgedInkStudio on Etsy.

This card is the perfect way to tell that special someone that he's not Mr. Right, he's Mr. Right Now. Sweet.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

mental issues valentine — Via BettieConfetti on Etsy.

So you've got more issues than People magazine? Who cares?

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

This is real talk, right ladies? Only we know how truly skeevy that favorite bra gets before we risk sending it through the wash... and we'll never tell.

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20 Funny (and Brutally Honest) Valentines

avoiding people valentine — Via appyCrocodileUK on Etsy.

Avoiding people is much more fun when you've got someone to do it with. Now get out there and tell someone that you love them. Honesty is the best policy! Happy Valentine's Day.