25 Bizarre News Headlines You Won't Believe Are Actually Real

These truths are definitely stranger than fiction

Via CollegeHumor.
By
Beverly Jenkins
    Beverly Jenkins is a humor and pop culture writer. She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! and Photobombed.
    our editorial process
    Beverly Jenkins
    Updated March 11, 2019

    Journalists are trained to report the news in an unbiased manner, but no matter how they phrase it, every once in a while a story comes along that is so bizarre that it sounds completely made up. The headlines in this collection are all 100% real while also being so outlandish that they're downright hysterical. 

    Take a walk on the wild side of the news business and just be glad you're not involved in any of these headlines.

    01
    of 24

    Missippi? Where is That?

    Missippi

     We Know Memes

    Didn't we all learn how to spell Mississippi at some point in elementary school? Apparently this newspaper editor was out sick that day. 

    02
    of 24

    I See What You Did There

    Tiger Woods

    NY Post 

    If you're going to make a pun that involves Tiger Woods, you'd better believe that pun is going to include a good ball joke.

    03
    of 24

    Hey Guys!

    Search party headline

     Just Something

    "Who are we searching for? Is she nice? Do I know her?"

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall when she learned who they were searching for! 

    04
    of 24

    Sounds Like Young Adult Fiction In The Making

    Horny Ghost Haunts House

     Imgur

    Move over, Twilight! There's a new teen angst novel in town. Instead of an undead vampire boyfriend, let's go with a totally dead ghost boyfriend.

    05
    of 24

    Best Wedding Ever?

    Flying Dildo

     CollegeHumor

    It's always interesting when a strange wedding makes headlines, but this one has to take the proverbial cake.

    06
    of 24

    Doggone It

    Posting letters in dog poo box

    Imgur 

    The poor guy must have been wondering why no one ever wrote him back!

    Also, how did this make the newspaper? Slow news day?

    07
    of 24

    Death By Condom

    Killed by Condom

     Pleated Jeans

    As far as embarrassing deaths go, this has to make the top 100. 

    08
    of 24

    Pooh Bear Has Always Seemed Shifty

    Violent crime duo

     Dumpaday

    This just confirms what we've always suspected of Winnie the Pooh and the Abominable Snowman. Just look at this dastardly duo!  They've got "international crime ring" written all over them.

    09
    of 24

    Ugly People Are The Worst

    Ugly parents spoil sport

     Blogspot

    Are we ever going to get some good-looking parents in here, or what? 

    10
    of 24

    I'm Not Following

    Long headline

     Imgur

    This story seems like it needs a venn diagram, a compass, and possibly a decoder ring to figure out what's happening.

    11
    of 24

    How Embarrassing

    Small package

    Pinterest

    We had no idea that having a small package was a crime. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a few ex-boyfriends to report. 

    12
    of 24

    Somebody Likes Queen

    Queen headline

     LOLpics

    That Queen song is stuck in your head now, isn't it? Mission accomplished, guys.  

    13
    of 24

    Polly Wants Your Wallet

    Mugged by a Parrot

     Pleated Jeans

    That had to be a tough one to explain to the police officers on the scene. 

    14
    of 24

    Now That's Just Mean

    one-armed man

     Pinterest

    Phrasing is important, folks. Really important. 

    15
    of 24

    Nudists Fight Erection

    Nudists fight erection

     Pinterest

    We'll bet they do.  

    16
    of 24

    No Sh*t, Sherlock

    Diana was still alive

     Runt of the Web

    GASP! Princess Di was alive hours before she was killed? This changes everything! 

    17
    of 24

    Police Were Not 'Loving It'

    McNuggets

     Fox News

    Who else are you going to call when you have a nugget emergency? She just needed some of those sweet, sweet fried chicken parts. Who could blame her?

    18
    of 24

    Does She Need A New Best Friend?

    Jack Sparrow

    Just Something 

    Because I want to party with this chick. 

    19
    of 24

    Okay Then

    Eaten by badger

     Reddit

    There's a lot to unpack here, and no matter what happens I think they'll be hearing from Gordon Ramsay's attorneys.

    20
    of 24

    Yeah, That's A Great Idea

    County to pay $250,000

    Imgur 

    "Take it from me; nobody has more experience with spending money to make money than I do. I've got the six bankruptsies to prove it."

    21
    of 24

    This Kid Is Going Places

    Stolen car

     Pleated Jeans

    Way to think on your feet, young man. 

    22
    of 24

    *Snort**Giggle**TeeHee

    Pressing Boehner

     We Know Memes

    Even though his name is technically pronounced "Bay-ner," you can't deny that this headline is pretty fan-freaking-fantastic.

    23
    of 24

    Pork Chops Are Dangerous

    Paralysed by a pork chop

     Twitter User @Nate__Dogg__

    Have fun explaining that one to your health insurance company.

    24
    of 24

    Last But Not Least

    Kanye West Found Alive

    Reddit 

    This image isn't so much about the headline as it is about the juxtaposition of stories. Plus, it touches on one of the internet's most favorite pastimes: Making fun of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.