6 Steps to Better Senior Sex

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Sex Can Improve at Any Age

Happy mature couple lying together on a bed
Compassionate Eye Foundation/Marcy Maloy/Digital Vision/Getty Images

Many older adults and seniors report that their sex lives actually improve as they age. Once the children are grown and work doesn’t require the energy it used to, couples can relax together and enjoy each other without the old distractions. They find that senior sex gets better.

With a little creativity and communication, you can improve your sex life too.

Here are a few tips to help make senior sex better for you, at any age...

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Communication is the Key to Real Intimacy

As your body changes in the senior years, it’s important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires with your partner. Encourage your partner to communicate fully with you, too. Improving your communication will help both of you feel closer, and can make senior sex more pleasurable.

If you would like to try something new, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas. The senior years, when you have more time and fewer distractions, can be a time of creativity and passion.

Sometimes just talking about sex can make you feel sexy.

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Think About Sex in a New Way

As a senior, you might not be as comfortable with some sexual positions as you once were, but this does not mean you need to give up an activity that is pleasurable for you and miss out on feeling close to your partner.

Senior sex calls for creativity. Try different intercourse positions to find ones that please you and your partner. If erectile dysfunction is an issue, try intercourse with the woman on top, where hardness is less important. Experiment with positions that you both find comfortable and pleasurable. Make your senior years a time of sexual generosity and sharing.

Expand your sexual play beyond intercourse. Holding each other, gentle touching, kissing, and sensual massage are all ways to share passionate feelings. You might experiment with oral sex and masturbation as ways to please each other in bed.

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Keep Your Body and Mind Healthy

If you exercise regularly and eat a healthy, balanced diet, you’ll look and feel better for yourself—and your partner. And a healthy body will help you enjoy senior sex, no matter what your age.

Keep fruits and vegetables high on your list, and limit the amount of alcohol you consume. Too much alcohol can decrease sexual function in both men and women.

Check with your healthcare provider to design a workout plan for yourself, and stick to it. Stretching, aerobics for your heart, and strength training will all help you feel​ sexier and improve your stamina and flexibility.

And don’t underestimate the appeal of an active mind. Find activities you enjoy that stimulate your intellect and imagination, and share them with your partner.

Seniors who enjoy their lives have their own special sexiness.

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Check With Your Health Care Provider

For all adults, not just seniors, medications and illness can affect your sexual drive.

If you have questions about how prescriptions will affect senior sexuality, check with your healthcare provider.

If you notice any sexual problems, seek medical help as soon as possible. Your healthcare provider may be able to help you stay fit and active, as long as you're willing to talk about what's bothering you.

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Be True to Yourself

Try to let go of expectations and “shoulds” as you enter the senior years. If you enjoyed an active sex life when you were younger, there’s no reason to slow down with age, unless you want to. On the other hand, if you are not especially turned on by sex but want to feel close to your partner, communicate your desires and find activities that please both of you.

Is there a time of day when you have the most energy? That’s the optimal time for sex. Mornings are often good if you’re refreshed from sleep, but anytime is fine if it works for you and your partner.

If you find in your senior years that it takes longer to become sexually aroused, start lovemaking with a romantic dinner—or breakfast. Share romantic or erotic literature and poetry, hold hands, touch often, and don’t be shy about saying what you love about each other.

You may have intercourse less often than you used to, but the closeness and love will still be there.

Be creative, loving, open-minded, and willing to communicate with your partner. You’ll find it’s possible to enjoy senior sex at any age.