Bad Coming Out Experiences

Sometimes Coming Out Doesn't Go as You Hoped

Coming out doesn't always go as teens hope. Image (c) Quil stock.xchng

Wouldn't it be great if coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, always went great and not only did you feel awesome and empowered, but you were embraced and supported by everyone you knew?

Obviously, that happens sometimes. But other times, things don't tuned out liked you'd hoped or expected.

Here some teens share coming out stories that don't all have perfect endings.

This one is from a teen reader who goes by, Purplebagpack:

"In between the multiple ignorant and rejecting things my mom told me, like, "Imagine all the things people will say," she said something about this not being Europe and that if I wanted that kind of lifestyle I should just move to a more gay country. And she said, and I am not even kidding, "It's like your dad cheating on me. We are not going to scream it to the world. You can live a happy life in secret." I now know that if I come out to the world (and by world I mean my family and close friends) my mom will not offer any support AND that my dad is cheating on my mom. One can learn so much things in one day."

Floridian, Chrisbate, writes:

"I was in my room kissing my bf when my mom walks in and sees us kissing. The next day she pretends like nothing happened so I cleared it out that I am bi and she called me a stupid young boy that knows nothing. She said she wanted to put me up for adoption. P.S- she changed her mind."

16-year-old, Alexis1233 says,

"The first person I told said, "Eww! We've been hanging out all this time though?!" She then proceeded to ask this guy to go out with me. Incredibly embarrassing, I know it's not as bad as it could have been but it was still awful."

ShyDreamWishing explains,

class="yes">"I told my mom I was lesbian. First she pretended it was a stage. Then she pretended I never came out. Then she then told me I can't come out to the rest of the family and I should quickly try to fix my problem."

17-year-old Ravenriver recalls:

"When I came out my parents made me go talk to their church bishop. I was told I'm broken, that they were taking me to counseling to help fix me, and that if things got worse they would have to take more drastic actions. They told me it's just a phase and that I could be "fixed." They also forbid me from telling anyone. To this day they cannot accept that I'm gay. When I told my friends, everything seemed fine and dandy at first, then I found out a bunch of them were talking about me behind my back and they asked me to keep my sexuality to myself because it would be easier for them. It was horrible."

If you have a bad coming out experience, it is important to know that you aren't alone. Others have been there and survived. And even if your family and friends react horribly, please know in many cases, they will come around.

If you have a gay / straight alliance at your school, or a supportive teacher or guidance counselor, consider reaching out. Sometimes it can seem as if no one will ever accept you, but really, this isn't the case.

One place you can start is the GLBT teens community forum. This is a safe space moderated by an adult for teens to connect with others going through similar things.