Are Some People Meant to Be Alone?

Woman by herself.

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For many people, being alone can seem like a scary prospect. They may long to be in a committed relationship and find a deep connection with someone special, and the idea of ending up alone frightens them to their core. However, there are others who may be perfectly content with being alone and aren’t looking for or interested in being in a serious relationship with someone else. When it comes to the idea of being alone, you may be wondering where you fall on this spectrum.

Here’s how to determine if you’re a person who's really meant to be alone. 

1. You Wholeheartedly Want to Be Single 

If you’re meant to be alone, one of the key signs is that you fully embrace and enjoy your life as a single person. Rather than wanting to find a relationship in the future and be part of a couple at some point, you’re perfectly content with your single status and are without a partner completely by choice. However, it’s important to understand the key distinction between people who are meant to be alone because they truly want to be and people who are alone by circumstance. For instance, just because you’re not in a relationship, were broken up with, or haven’t dated in a while doesn’t mean that you’re meant to be alone—it just means that you haven’t met the right person yet. But for people who are truly meant to be alone, they’re not interested in meeting anyone because that’s not a priority or a necessity.

They're not alone by circumstance, but rather by choice. 

2. You’re Set in Your Ways

Are you completely accustomed to your routine? People who are meant to be alone are often already firmly established in their ways and have no desire to change or make compromises to include others into their daily schedules.

When you like things done a certain way, find that you stick to a strict schedule, or don’t want to bend or change your routine in any way, this can be a clear sign that you’re meant to be alone. On the other hand, people who are hoping to find a relationship down the road are often far more able to be flexible, cooperative, and accommodating in order to appease a future partner. If you’re more open and receptive to bend and change for someone else, you’re likely more of a person who isn’t meant to be alone.

3. You’re Genuinely Happy

For some people, being alone can cause them great anxiety, stress, and heartache. Their confidence, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth may drop because they're not currently in a relationship. However, for those who are meant to be alone, moments of solitude can be quite invigorating and enjoyable. If you’re a person who’s meant to be alone, you may look forward to spending time solo where you can focus on yourself and your well-being. When being alone brings you joy rather than heartbreak, this sense of contentment is further proof that you’re a person who doesn’t need a significant other in your life in order to be significantly happy. 

4. Your Life Isn’t Conducive to Having a Mate

Depending upon how your life is currently structured, being alone may be the perfect choice for you and your particular lifestyle.

For instance, if you travel frequently for work and are extremely career-focused, you may be a person who is better off being alone because your passion for your work sustains and fulfills you. While some people need to have a deep connection with another person to be happy, there are those who have a deep connection and enthusiasm for their work or another passion that brings them joy in return. Again it’s important to understand that building your life around your career should be a choice that makes you happy. Specifically, if you feel as though your career is preventing you from finding a partner because of the long hours and demanding schedule, then you’re likely not meant to be alone, but are rather in a situation where you're alone currently because of the nature of your work.

5. You’re Not Lonely

One of the central fears that many people have about being alone is that they’re worried they'll feel lonely or isolated a lot of the time.

However, for people who are meant to be alone, they enjoy these moments by themselves and don't have this same type of angst because they like spending time on their own. People who are supposed to be alone may go out on the town, engage in social events, and push themselves out of their comfort zone, but they're also thoroughly happy when they can go home and spend some quality time with themselves. Like many introverts, they look forward to and even seek out these moments of peaceful solitude. Choosing to be alone certainly doesn’t mean that you’re choosing to be lonely, it just means that you’re choosing the best life for you.