Age Differences in Relationships

Gay Couple
FilippoBacci/Getty

So what about age differences in relationships?

Imagine you meet this guy; you both get along well, you start seeing each other often and going on dates. But there is one thing bothering you: there is a big age gap between you. You are in your early 20s and he is much older. Should you stop seeing him?

There is nothing wrong with a big age gap. Often the bane of mixed-aged relationships is not the age difference, but large chasms in life experience.

For him, the older person, some life experiences are good, others are bad and a whole lot are in between, but surely a lot changed since he bridged from a young 18 year old to a mature 35. Looking back he may think how different a person he was and the choices he made. He moves on experience. As for you, the younger person, impulse may be your driving force, you think about yourself and the world through a different lens.

Just fill in the checkboxes. He likes you. Check. You like him. Check. You're both legal. Check. Then go with the flow and see what happens. Mixed-aged relationships can survive. If your crush is sentient, then he's also done a few more laps around the perishables than you have. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Not all produce is bad produce. As you age, you will also have a world of experiences crammed into a few years that may change the way you think, feel and interact.

 (For some reason the trial-by-fire scenarios of our lives are accelerated between our teens and 30s.)

Should a gap in life experience deter you from turning a frozen romance into the hot food bar? Definitely not. Just be aware that there will be times when you both see life through different lenses.

After all, he's probably settled and you have a ton of life to live before you catch up. This can work if you consciously stay open to each others' perspectives.
Don't stress. Life has a tendency to work itself out. Your 30-something may be exactly what you need and you may be exactly what he's been missing. Keep your eyes open and give it a try. Take each day of this connection as a circular of excitement. Just be aware that as you grow your relationship might change.