Advanced Masturbation Techniques

There are thousands of books, websites, and online videos that promise to teach you the secret to becoming a great lover.  One problem with all of them is that their focus is in the wrong direction.  The person you will have sex with the most, the one who deserves the most love and attention, is you! 

Unlike sex with a partner, the only goal of masturbation is that you enjoy yourself. Which means that the line between beginner and advanced masturbation is one that only you can draw.

But hundreds of years of masturbation myths have left many of us at a loss for ways to spice up our masturbation routine. If you've already covered the basics of but feel like you're in a self-love rut, below you'll find some masturbation inspiration, with links to dig deeper into the topics that most interest you.

Woman lying on a bed looking at herself in a mirror
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Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy suggests that the best way to get comfortable with talking dirty is to do it when you masturbate. It can also be an amazing way of spicing up your masturbation and loosening you up in general.
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silicone vibrators on display at a sex shop
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More and more sex toys are being sold as "relationship enhancers". But there are few tools as well suited for a job as sex toys are for masturbation. For some of us, sex toys provide a kind of consistent stimulation we need to get over the top. For all of us, they can provide extra physical and mental stimulation that takes our solo sex lives to the next level.​ More »

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Explore Taboo Fantasy

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The fact that masturbation is private and that you are the only person you need to consider when masturbating means it can be an excellent place to explore the limits of your sexual desires. We live in a culture with strong sexual taboos which we learn almost invisibly from an early age. While many would never want to have sex that falls into these culturally taboo categories, most of us imagine it at times. Fantasy during masturbation can be a safer way to explore what we do, and don't, want.

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Most people think of sex positions as something you need to figure out with a partner. But a sex position is any position you're in when you are having sex. And masturbation is a kind of sex. If you think of masturbation as just a utilitarian act, something that must be done, you're unlikely to bring a kind of Kama Sutra creativity to it. Taking your masturbation from beginner to advanced means putting in the time to explore other physical options for self-pleasure. More »

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Voyeur Self

an eye looking through a peep hole in a wall.
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When you masturbate what do you see? What are you attending to with your senses? If your mind tends to wander to the same fantasies,  distractions, or porn scenarios, one way to shake up your masturbatory practice is to become a voyeur, of yourself.

If you're sighted you can try to do this literally by using a mirror (or more than one).  You can't also record yourself either audio or video (just be sure to delete the recording later if you don't want to risk it ending up in the wrong hands).

If watching yourself is too much, there are other ways to focus your aroused attention on the hotness that is you.  Close your eyes and imagine yourself, focus on what you look like or what the part of your body that you are stimulating looks and feels like.  Turn all your erotic objectification inward.  It can be challenging, but also thrilling.