Abraham Lincoln Quotes

Funny and Witty Quotes by President Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln and kittens
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." --President Abraham Lincoln. Photo of Lincoln: Public Domain; Kittens: GalgenTX and Kennymatic via Flickr

See Also:
Dumbest Presidential Quotes
Funniest Political Quotes
Dumbest Quotes Ever

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --President Abraham Lincol

"He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met." --President Abraham Lincoln

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" --President Abraham Lincoln

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." --President Abraham Lincoln

"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." --President Abraham Lincoln

"I'm a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let him down. --President Abraham Lincoln

"After 40 every man gets the face he deserves." --President Abraham Lincoln

"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves." --President Abraham Lincoln

"It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river." --President Abraham Lincoln

"I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me." --President Abraham Lincoln

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." --President Abraham Lincoln

"We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God's side." --President Abraham Lincoln

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg." --President Abraham Lincoln

"The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived." --President Abraham Lincoln

"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." --President Abraham Lincoln

"You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." --President Abraham Lincoln

"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." --President Abraham Lincoln

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." --President Abraham Lincoln

"I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Avoid popularity if you would have peace." --President Abraham Lincoln

"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Knavery and flattery are blood relations." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Those who write clearly have readers, those who write obscurely have commentators." --President Abraham Lincoln

“If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." --President Abraham Lincoln

"As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy." --President Abraham Lincoln

"Nearly all men stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." --President Abraham Lincoln

"I walk slow but I never walk back." --President Abraham Lincoln

"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."