Humor Web Humor These Inappropriate Children's Toys Are So Unintentionally Creepy Share PINTEREST Email Print Humor Memes Funny Videos Holiday Humor By Beverly Jenkins Beverly Jenkins is a humor and pop culture writer. She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! and Photobombed. our editorial process Beverly Jenkins Updated December 03, 2017 01 of 20 Superman Blow-Up Doll Via Oddee. A quick trip to your local toy store will show you that not all children's toys are created equally. Some toys are cute, fun, and harmless, while others are just plain unintentionally horrifying. We're not here today to discuss the boring, regular toys. Oh no; where's the fun in that? We're here to discuss the latter group, the toys that went straight from "Oh hey, that's unusual" to "What on God's green earth were they thinking when they made this thing?!" Take a look at some of the creepiest toys ever to roll off of Hell's production line. Buckle up. 02 of 20 Roadkill Puzzle Via Amazon. What child wouldn't want to sit quietly in their room while working on a nice roadkill puzzle? "Find the right spot on the pavement for this flattened raccoon, little Jimmy! Go ahead - he doesn't feel a thing (anymore)." Believe it or not, this is a real toy that's available on Amazon. 03 of 20 Mickey's Big Mic Via 22 words. Put your lips close to Mickey Mouse's giant microphone for hours of fun and excitement! Looks great, Disney Corporation—not like a big plastic phallus at all! Top notch. 04 of 20 Wolverine's Questionable Intake Valve Via thefix. Go ahead, inflate your good buddy Wolverine. Blow him up nice and big. Turns out, Wolverine isn't the only character who has his valve in a rather unusual area.... 05 of 20 Spongebob says: "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!" Via list25. He just wants to show you his Bikini Bottom, that's all. 06 of 20 Water Weinnie Via Dumpaday. Why use a regular old water balloon when you can play with a Water Weinnie? There's nothing creepy about little kids playing with glorified condom-balloons. Nope, nothing at all. 07 of 20 Kid-Sized Straight Jacket Via laughing squid. Most parents have probably had moments when they wanted to restrain their kids, so... why not? 08 of 20 Two Finger Squirter Via Imgur. Oh dear. We know what you were trying to say... but was this really the best name you could come up with? 09 of 20 Spiderman's "Whippin' Web-Chuk" Via Imgur. We have a feeling that his Spidey Senses aren't the only things that are tingling. 10 of 20 Poo-Dough Via Reddit. Thanks so much for teaching our children that playing with poop is fun, Play-Doh. Life hasn't been quite the same since they learned that. 11 of 20 Paw Patrol's Little Extra Somethin' Somethin' Via Imgur/AJ Flash. Well alrighty then. 12 of 20 Dragon Fly Recorder Fail Via Pinterest/stuffhappens. And you thought hearing "Hot Cross Buns" played by your budding musician over and over again was the worst thing you could experience with a recorder! Take a look at this crazy thing, then picture a kid actually using it. On second thought, NOPE. Don't picture that. At all. 13 of 20 Shave The Baby Doll Via viralnova. We have questions. Why is the baby hairy in the first place? Why do we need to shave it? Why is the hair all orange and curly? Why does this toy even exist? 14 of 20 Gummy Peni—Er, Lighthouses Via Metro UK. No, these aren't the sort of novelty gummies you might buy for a bachelorette party... these are 100% real gummy lighthouses that don't resemble male genitalia at all. 15 of 20 A Farting Baby Doll Via Instagram user kandi_yam. Put this adorable little farting baby into your tub for instant jacuzzi action! 16 of 20 Pretend Cigarettes and Matches Via awesome inventions. Why let your kids simply pick up on your bad habits when you can actively teach them with toys like these? Come on, kids. let's all get lung cancer together! 17 of 20 E.T. Phallic Finger Light Via We Know Memes. That's funny, this E.T. toys looks just like the one that mommy keeps in her bedside table drawer. 18 of 20 BDSM Bear Via We Know Memes. Fifty Shades of Waaaaaait a second. Why does this bear need a ball gag? Well, aside from him being naughty. 19 of 20 A Pregnant Baby Doll Via Imgur. Babies having babies... oh yeah, that sounds like a blast! Great life lesson, too. 20 of 20 He's A Shape Shifter, All Right Via Imgur. He's shifting shapes all over the place. Blam! So there you have it, 20 toys we hope you'll never, ever, EVER give to your kids. Just trust us; they'll be happier if you don't! If you just can't get enough of horrifying children's entertainment, check out this nightmare-inducing collection of scary playgrounds.